Article by Ashwini Chubé
I was born in a family where everybody has been a perfectionist. I spent 3/4th of my life trying to be perfect and beating myself up because I realised I wasn’t perfect. Imagine – being an investment banker for 8 years and studying in a highly competitive school, college and university before that. I was always trying to be perfect. I was trying to meet up with expectations set by everyone around me with good results. Till about 2010 – I was living the so called Type A personality perfect life where I wanted to be a high achiever, ideal daughter, best friend infact Ms Perfect. And my daily battle was to achieve it all and if I couldn’t achieve it – beat myself up with guilt and trying to find the answer to: “What is wrong with me”
Until 2018 – I did not realise that it was futile chasing perfectionism and instead I should focus on my inner journey of mastery. The 8 years of my journey of self-discovery led me to write this article to help anyone and everyone who struggle with being perfectionists.
Are you a Perfectionist? What is Perfectionism?
Perfectionism is an inanimate definition which makes us believe in ego more. It is the voice of fear which makes us believe we necessarily need to meet some manmade standards in order to be happy and successful – failing which you don’t deserve happiness or joy.
Most perfectionism comes from childhood conditioning and the worlds around us. We are born flawless as children – but as we grow up we get trained into the predefined model of perfection. And if we do not meet the criteria we are deemed as failures. The worst is we keep being harsh on ourselves all the time for not being perfect.
What are some things which happen when we believe in perfectionism
- Perfectionism stops us from starting something new: Perfectionism makes us wait till we are perfect thus stopping us from taking the first step. Imagine you are so scared of making mistakes you ll wait till you are perfect hence won’t take the first step
- Perfectionism keeps us in the loop of eternal stress: When you want to be perfect you are all the time thinking about it and stressed about your performance
- Perfectionism makes us decline our self-worth: Perfectionism makes us self critical and have a harsh self-talk thus bringing down our self-worth. Imagine when we have standards set for certain things in our life and if we do not meet them? That is exactly how we feel when we haven’t achieved targets or goals. We keep beating ourselves up for not achieving perfection
- Perfectionism makes us feel we don’t deserve: Perfectionism will make you feel you do not deserve because all the time you ‘ll believe you need to achieve certain things to deserve something. This will keep you in the obsessive loop of trying and trying to meet some criteria. This is what we call as ‘I am not good enough’ syndrome
- Perfectionism keeps us away from achieving huge dreams: The fear of only achieving your dreams when you are perfect will always keep your dreams ‘out there’
- Perfectionism makes us self-critical: We always tend to critically evaluate ourselves all the time when we are being perfectionists. Criticism is a by-product of such self-analysis and perfectionism.
- Perfectionism does not let us live the truth: Living our truth means knowing our heart’s desire, expressing it and practicing it by staying committed to it. When we are trying to be perfectionists, we ll be living what are the fixed points of view about society – thus running away from our true authentic truth.
- Perfectionism doesn’t allow you to live in Allowance: Allowance as per Gary Douglas of Access Consciousness is when everything is an interesting point of view. When you are trying to be a perfectionist – you ‘ll either agree or align to points of view or reject/react to them. By doing this – we stop being in allowance and hence lose out on lots in life
How is a Master different from Perfectionist and why should we inculcate Mastery not Perfection
- Mastery is an ongoing journey while perfection suggests you’ve arrived, you’ve made it, you’re done
- Master accepts his flaws and loves them – Perfectionist is critical of his flaws and will keep on trying to hide or improve them
- Mastery is an inward journey whereas perfection is an outward journey
- Mastery goes with the flow – perfection asks for specific milestones
- Mastery helps us know ourselves better – perfection depicts your performance
- Mastery focuses on self-worth – perfection reduces self-worth
How to go in mastery mode and not be intimidated by perfection
- Sit in a place where you won’t be disturbed
- Take 8-10 deep breaths
- Invoke the Reiki masters symbol DKM and invoke Reiki masters
- Also, invoke the presence of ascended masters (see my previous article on Reiki Master Symbol and Ascended Masters for more clarity)
- Draw CKR and HSZSN and chant their names three times
- Ask Reiki energy to guide you to ground your energy
- Focus on your breath
- Draw the master symbol over your crown and on your root
- Ask it to fill your chakras with light
- Ask the universe and Reiki energy to help you with your journey as a master
Now next ask yourself
- What is my role as a Reiki master?
- How can one attain mastery instead of perfection?
- Journal whatever comes to you
- Simply say this prayer 3X times to surrender all fears of not being perfect “Dear God – Universe – I now surrender all my control to be perfect in any aspect of life. I am in allowance of the Universe and its blessings. I ask for support as I keep walking on the path of mastery. I fully accept and love myself as the creation of divine God and universe. I know there is no need to achieve perfection. Instead I ask the universe to guide me to mastery to reach my highest possible potential. Thank you”
To conclude: Mastery is an ongoing process. Though we as Reiki Grandmasters/Masters/master teachers are spreading the light in the world – we have an ongoing journey in which we learn new things each day. Enjoy the journey and may your ongoing journey as a master give you lots of joy.
Love to my readers
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After doing her MBA in finance and working for 8 years in investment banking Ashwini discovered her life purpose and decided to make a choice to be a transformational trainer, life coach, motivational speaker, and a spiritual teacher. She says Reiki helped her find her soul mission.
In 2016 May Ashwini founded Unicorn Insight – a corporate training company. Unicorn Insight trained over 100 people in the first 15 months. Ashwini also founded and runs a recruiting and networking firm – Tree of life. Ashwini has co-founded Urja Wellness and Joy for wellness and all these brands are now part of the Unicorn Group.
Ashwini is a master teacher of Usui Reiki, Violet Flame healing, Angelic healing and is an Access bars facilitator. She has been certified as a trainer by Dale Carnegie. Ashwini is also a mind trainer, an angel card, and tarot reader as well as a teacher and conducts workshops on Reiki, Violet flame, Law of Attraction, Gratitude, Vision Boards and Angels, Unicorns, Dragons, Akashic records and is a certified Fairiologist. She is a regular speaker at HELP talks Mumbai. The Breakthrough workshop is a life-changing workshop where she teaches tools to empower and change your life.
Get in touch with Ashwini through her Website: www.unicorninsight.com or at email@example.com. Her Facebook page is: www.facebook.com/unicorninsight