The funny thing is the people who don’t want to change are the same people who don’t want you to change, for you changing will impact on their lives and they are so set in their ways their comfort or discomfort has become their routine of existence. You wanting to change can pose a threat to their reality, even if their reality is make believe.
We are creatures conditioned by rules and regulations and controlled by our own habits and routines. We tell ourselves we are free and in control of life which is usually indicative of a comfortable routine with a place for everything and everything in its place. It offers a sense of peace and security. My life is neat and orderly with my cupboards tidy and my cups facing the right way which makes my world a happy and safe place to live. Infinite and absolute are terms that confuse and intimidate us and so we seek to apply our limited mindset to them in such a way as to create an illusion of control and conformity. We love labels and “must do’s” so even when we are offered our freedom from these self imposed restrictions and limitations through the acquisition and application of knowledge and understanding we seek to instill terms and conditions on our release by using empty words such as ‘’I can’t, I need, I must, and if only’’.
Even our spiritual development isn’t safe from the need to regulate and control. We separate and segregate and sit in judgement on those who appear different or have chosen a different path to find their personal truth. Not content with our need and desire for earthwhile power and control of what is the “true” path/discipline/teachings/religion we turn our gaze skyward in order to ensure the universe in all its glory knows its place, and its role in our development. Such is our self belief we are amazed the universe could have created itself without our intervention.
So much of what we teach and practice is based on acceptance of faith and tradition rather than the principle of truth demonstrated. Tradition and faith have their place but should never be a substitute for knowledge and understanding, if we don’t have the freedom to question and challenge what we are taught, or hold to be true then the “freedom” we are being offered is nothing more than control in disguise. Acceptance without the desire for change keeps us locked into the past with all the habits, routines, and rituals used to construct and maintain our comfort zone and the illusion of stability.
Acceptance of personal responsibility offers the genuine freedom to change and the power to make it a reality. The moment we say we “need” a thing to enable us to act in a certain way we are in effect instigating a transference of our power to the inanimate object, person or circumstance we believe will empower us to exercise our ability.
There is nothing intrinsically wrong with structured routine and discipline. They help us get things done and navigate the trials and tribulations of everyday life and provide the freedom to do the things we enjoy. But like any virtue taken to the extreme they can become problematic when they are no longer responsive to your development and become so constrictive they take on the power to negatively influence and affect your emotional and mental stability, health, and well-being.
The people in our lives can provide tangible proof of the amount of freedom available to us in the quality and nature of our relationships. Those who don’t want us to change fear the effect you will have on their stability, comfort, and quality of life, regardless of the affect their behavior has on you. In many ways dealing with the resistance from others is much easier than the covert resistance we experience through our own beliefs and actions. Knowledge and understanding are the true physicians of healing in any discipline, and education always asks us to let go of what we hold tightly to be true and be willing to accept the unknown if it is the truth demonstrated.
Ease and comfort are the greatest challenge to personal development and come in many forms and quite often it’s the most inocuos and mundane habits, routines, and disciplines that exert the greatest control over us. Without realising it we empower them to impede our progress with subtle self imposed limitations we tell ourselves are “absolute must’s” for our happiness and ability to cope in our everyday life. When it comes down to it we are just habitual creatures of comfort looking for freedom with terms and conditions.
Article by Phillip Hawkins
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A Reiki practitioner since 1999, Phillip started teaching Reiki in 2000 and using those skills and abilities he has spent the majority of the last seventeen years working with a wide range of social and educational needs including Autism and ADHD. Working with addicts dependent on alcohol and drugs, people whose lives were extremely violent and abusive, and others who had to deal with severe mental health issues. This has enabled him to work extensively in the private sector, schools, colleges, education and care in the community, the prison service and psychiatric units.
In 2016, Phillip decided to semi-retire from full-time employment to concentrate on developing his career as a published author and the setting up of his Reiki personal development programme at the Chilton Community College.