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Others’ Reactions When You Change

Article by Deborah Lloyd, Reiki Master

It can feel wonderful when, through the healing powers of Reiki, you are able to attain new levels of living a positive lifestyle. Perhaps, you have stopped drinking alcohol or smoking cigarettes, because you no longer feel the need. Or, you have set the intention to stop gossiping while your coworkers continue spreading rumors. Or, you are eating more vegetables and avoiding fast food restaurants. There are thousands of ways to promote a healthier and calmer lifestyle; a daily practice of Reiki helps us in attaining this goal.

What we often don’t talk about is how to deal with reactions from other people in our lives when these changes occur. Sometimes, loved ones are truly excited to see these improvements, and their reactions are positive and encouraging. Unfortunately, sometimes the reactions may be negative, and we feel hurt or disappointed when others do not share our joy. Certainly, there can be many reasons why others feel uncomfortable, or show disapproval.

Our disappointment is lessened when we, with a compassionate attitude, try to understand their feelings. When we know a person well, we can usually figure out what she might be feeling. For example, a loved one who often feels inferior to other people may be feeling “less than” you because she continues to engage in unhealthy habits. Or, she might be worried that you will no longer want to be her friend because you may become involved with the Reiki community, or become too busy to spend time with her. She is feeling threatened by the changes in your life.

Another negative reaction may be based in the fact that you have made changes that your loved one always wanted to do, but never took the time, or made the decision to change. Suddenly, you made that change, and the feeling of failure overcomes him. Part of him is happy you succeeded, but the other part feels defeated.

Other people (who do not understand what Reiki is) may genuinely be concerned that you have embraced an anti-religious practice, or become involved with unstable folks, or quacks!

All these reactions are based in fear and have very little to do with you. It can be difficult to realize that often when people make disparaging remarks, or invalidate your progress, this is often a reflection of how they see themselves. The most important thing for you to do is to react in a loving manner.

As Reiki practitioners, we must always make an effort to not judge others – even when it seems we are being judged. We must assist others on their journey to wholeness. And, the best way to do that is to send light and love to them, with the intention of the person’s highest good. If this seems impossible to do, take the time to reflect on what your feelings are. Perhaps, making a silent statement stating forgiveness, or saying a prayer of gratitude for the positive qualities of this loved one, will be helpful. Don’t forget there is always a reason why things happen in our lives, even the disappointing events. We learn life’s most important lessons during difficult times, especially within close, interpersonal relationships.

We also need to remember all of us are on our own individual journeys. While it is promising that we have been able to make some changes, we also know we have truly just begun! We still have many hurdles to jump and obstacles to conquer. We can never judge others, as we too have hurt our family and friends with our words and actions. Hopefully, each of us is making concerted efforts to operate out of love, not fear. But, being human, we do not always succeed in meeting this intention.

As long as we are on healing paths, our lives will continue to change. Learning how to live, and love, during these challenging times can be very rewarding, for you and for those who may not totally accept your commitment to Reiki. As we grow in compassionate understanding, we will experience growth in our own spiritual wisdom – another blessed gift of Reiki.

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Deborah Lloyd
Deborah Lloyd

Deborah Lloyd is a Usui and Karuna® Reiki Master and certified holistic therapy practitioner, providing Reiki sessions and training in Asheville, NC. Deborah is the author of two books, 22 Messages from the Archangels; and, Believe and it is True: A Story of Healing and Life Lessons. She is also one of the co-authors of Reiki 101: 101 Answers for Your Reiki Questions. Reach Deborah at http://www.deblloydhealing.com/, deb@deblloydhealing.com and at Deb Lloyd Healing on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/deblloydhealing)

{ 5 comments… add one }
  • Anisha June 3, 2015, 3:36 pm

    Just when I was introspecting about my troubled relations, came this article!

    Thanks Deborah for sharing this. I too have been misjudged by people in past, and inspite of knowing that it came through their own pain and perceptions, you either tend to take the guilt, or judge the other person back as a self-defence. Very difficult to maintain a balanced emotion.

    But then that’s the lesson I guess, and the struggle continues…!

  • Soniele June 4, 2015, 3:01 am

    Bful article n so nicely put

  • Deborah Lloyd June 4, 2015, 10:15 pm


    I too find it amazing how just the right article, or book, will come into my life, just when I need it. It seems Reiki has enhanced synchronicities in our lives!

    Soniele – Thank you for your kind words.


  • Neelam June 5, 2015, 9:21 am

    Very useful, full of wisdom
    Thanks a lot Deborah Lloyd

  • Deborah Lloyd June 6, 2015, 12:40 pm


    Grateful to hear this article is helpful to you,


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