In my two decades of Reiki healing, I have observed a consistent pattern in relationships: our connection with others is either driven by the Solar Plexus or the Heart. While they may sometimes overlap, they are fundamentally distinct and reflect different levels of emotional and energetic awareness. This distinction applies to all types of relationships—romantic, familial, friendly, and professional.
Solar Plexus Relationships
Solar Plexus based relationships are deeply rooted in power struggles. The Solar Plexus governs personal power, control, and ego. These relationships are often driven by a need to dominate, influence, or manipulate the other person. Many individuals mistake this dynamic for love when, in reality, it is an ongoing power struggle masked as care or concern.
Messages like “I do so much for you, and yet….!”, “Do this, or else!”, “I know better what you need”, “I don’t want to talk about it”, or “No I won’t give you the space that you need” are common.
In such relationships, control is exercised in various forms: overt bullying, anger outbursts, emotional blackmail, passive-aggressive behavior, or even complete avoidance of conflict by suppressing issues. The goal is not resolution but submission—one person must ‘win’, and the other must ‘comply’.
At a deeper level, power-based relationships stem from insecurity and fear. The need to exert control arises from an internal void, a fear of being unworthy or losing connection. When the Solar Plexus is imbalanced, relationships become a battlefield for dominance rather than a space for mutual growth and harmony.
The Heart Chakra Connection
Heart chakra based relationships, in contrast, are rooted in love. It is, the centre of compassion, trust, and true connection. These relationships prioritize mutual respect, open communication, and shared responsibility. Rather than seeking control, both individuals aim for understanding and resolution.
In love-based relationships, people feel safe expressing their concerns because they know they will be heard. Conflicts are approached with the intention of finding a balanced, win-win solution rather than proving superiority. The focus is on growing together, not overpowering each other.
These relationships require vulnerability, trust, and a sense of personal security. They give each other the benefit of the doubt. When the Heart chakra is open and balanced, love flows freely without the need for force, manipulation, or suppression.
Questions for Self-Reflection
If you’re unsure whether your relationships are power-based or love-based, consider asking yourself the following:
- Do I feel safe expressing my true feelings in this relationship? When the other person shares anything, do I truly listen? Do I justify or fight back, or do I seek to understand better why they are hurt?
- Do conflicts between us lead to mutual understanding, or does one person always need to ‘win’?
- Do I feel free to make my own choices, or am I often pressured or guilted into decisions? Do I pressure or manipulate the other person to do things my way when we are not on the same page?
- Do I feel emotionally nourished and supported, or do I often feel drained and anxious? Is the other person often drained and anxious? Is it important to me to meet their emotional needs? What steps have I taken recently in this direction?
- When I set a boundary, is it respected, or is it met with anger or manipulation? Do I respect their boundaries?
- Do I give love freely, or do I expect something in return?
Reiki Exercise: Shifting from Power-Based to Love-Based Relationships
If you find yourself caught in a power struggle or struggling to maintain a heart-centered relationship, the following Reiki exercise can help balance the Solar Plexus and Heart chakras.
To begin with, meditate on the Solar Plexus chakra for 21 minutes daily, for 21 days. If you are initiated to the second level, you may imagine a golden power symbol in this space, or you may imagine a golden radiating ball of light gently expanding and contracting with your breath. Every night when you go to bed, request Reiki to heal any power-related issues throughout the night. Note that this may sometimes bring up anger or depression for a few days as a cleansing response, so it is best not to do this during a busy month.
For the next 21 days, meditate on the Heart chakra for 21 minutes daily, imagining a green glowing ball of light in the heart, expanding and gently contracting a bit with your breath. You may imagine a green emotional healing symbol if you are initiated into level 2. As you go to bed every night, request your higher self to bring up and heal all Heart chakra-related blockages.
By consistently practicing this exercise, you can shift your energetic patterns from power-based interactions to heart-centered connections, creating relationships that are truly fulfilling and harmonious. You may repeat it every few months to enhance the impact and continue the healing.
Article by Ashwita Goel, Reiki Master
Free eBook download: We’ve created an eBook with our best articles on this topic, and offer it for free to all our newsletter subscribers.
Having learned Meditation as a child, Ashwita incorporated Reiki into her life during her early teens. After a decade of witnessing the magic Reiki, she felt compelled to take up Reiki professionally, and ended her corporate career in 2007, taking up Reiki full-time. She eventually incorporated EFT, hypnotherapy and past life therapy into her work. Apart from her healing work, she teaches Reiki and meditation, and her book ‘Healing Through Reiki’ is available on Amazon. She holds regular full moon and new moon meditations at @AshwitaGoel. Her website is www.reiki-bangalore.com and her blog www.ashwita.com
Leave a Reply