Grief, Wounds & Reiki – Part 1 of 5

I first wrote the words below on June 10, 2020, the day that would have been my dad’s 66th birthday; my first father, my biological father, lost his life when I was 5 years old (35 years ago). Though I needed some time to process through it all and look at what I wrote again with fresh eyes. Grief has no concept of time, and our wounds are often deeper than we realize and are healed in layers, like an onion, as after each layer there is another to be looked at and more tears are shed and a deeper healing occurs. Some wounds will come up that we didn’t even know were there.

This series of 5 blogs will highlight the grief and wound journey within and how, with the support of Reiki’s loving healing energy, we are able to connect even deeper within ourselves and connect with our beautiful heart, as we move one step closer to healing the wounds and grief that create the blocks and walls around our heart.

So, it begins….this journey From Head to Heart. We may have our own very personal journey, but we are connected to many others as well who share similar stories, similar hopes, and similar dreams. It is my hope that this message will reach those who need it today and resonate within their heart.

With much love, compassion, hope, peace and gratitude.

Namaste,

Jennifer Cluley
a guide on your journey From Head to Heart

Song of Inspiration for today’s blog below: Bee Gees – How Deep is Your Love

The last couple days I have not posted as much as I would have liked on social media. I have been sitting with and processing through a lot. Not just what I am affected by on my own personal journey, but all that has been happening (or happened) within my own family, in my own town, province, country and throughout the world.

Through talking with a friend yesterday and with my husband, I came to the realization that there will be times that I am to be receiving the messages I need that day for my own healing journey and not always sharing messages with others. There will be times I will need to just sit, relax, process, cry and feel all the feels and there will be times I will be able to uplift and encourage others. Though for me, I can now easily go back and forth doing this throughout the same day. I can move from grief one moment, to one of joy very quickly, though being able to do this did not happen overnight.

Not all I share and do is for a bigger purpose, sometimes it is to connect with those closest to me – my children, husband, friends and family, and allow that to ripple out into the world through my interactions with others.

Last year for me I experienced the dark night of the soul for an entire year where I felt the pain. I mean emotionally and energetically felt all the pain that I have caused others in my journey due to my wounds, fears, and trauma which stemmed mostly from childhood. For me, the majority of that revolved around the separation of my parents at a very young age, and then my dad passing away in a tragic accident while away in the Dominican alone for vacation. Through his passing, my world as a little girl changed before my eyes. New people were brought into my life and some gave unconditional love and others brought more trauma.

As a very sensitive person, sensitive to feelings, sensitive to others and experiencing my own grief as well, my heart began to fill with so much pain over and over again. As time went on, I began to block love from coming in as well as blocking all the ways I expressed love to others. This did not happen overnight, but over time I ended up creating a protective barrier around my sacred precious heart. As that is what we do to protect ourselves from more pain, grief, trauma and sadness. We do our best to shield ourselves from more being experienced.

My childhood was filled with joy and with an abundance of tears. Though as an adult, I have had to spend years and years working at healing my broken heart. The trauma I experienced was much more than my father passing, but that was the beginning of my journey, so that was where I had to spend much of my focus on my heart healing over the years.

At one point during my dark night of the soul, I physically felt the moment my heart opened again to love. It hurt during that meditation, but that was a pivotal moment in my life as my heart now was beginning to open to love and express love in a whole new way, free of the protective barrier I have created to protect it.

Today would have been my dad’s 66th birthday. In human form, he was present for only 5 years of my life. In spirit, he has always been there guiding me and showing me so much love.

The Bee Gees song – How Deep is Your Love, has been playing in my head for days. Over and over again. As I have been processing new layers of grief not so much attached to my dad for like the first time in my life, but those attached to my family and ancestors.

My journey is one of ancestral healing, which when I was told that during my meditation teacher training last year, I didn’t fully understand what davidji meant until it began to happen.

Those of you who chose to come here in this lifetime to break the cycles within your family line, who came here to do the hard and very painful and personal work to impact past, present and future generations within your family, I see you and I encourage you to keep going.

Be the Light Bringer. Be true to YOUR heart. Be Beautiful and Messy. You may lose some people along your journey, those who won’t understand why you are choosing to change and grow and maybe in those moments why you are so full of anger and rage. If you stick with it, those moments will transform and you will become the person you were always meant to be. It doesn’t mean you won’t still mess up sometimes, that a wound won’t get triggered. But you will apologize quicker and see exactly why something triggered you and be able to course correct.

People will begin to see the real you. That can be scary, as you become used to the new you and expressing and being yourself just as you are. Hopefully, like me, you have that one person; that one constant that sticks with you and supports you and loves you while you can’t and while it feels like all others aren’t able to the way you need to move forward. This doesn’t mean you will always feel alone, as this journey does have some loneliness to it, nor does it mean those people who had to leave, like a family member or friend, will never return as part of your inner circle again. I am not speaking of those who have passed, but those who had to leave your life for a while to help you fully hit that rock bottom to get to the next step on your journey moving forward. They may come back into your life again when they are ready, in divine right time, as that has been my experience. Though some may not return.

For me that one person, that one constant in my life has been my husband. He has stayed with me, when I made it very difficult to do so. He loved me, when I wasn’t able to love myself. He has been my rock, my constant, my grounding force. I bring an abundance of things to his journey as well, but for me I would not be where I am today if it wasn’t for him and our very unique journey together, which I am so grateful for.

My husband and my dad in spirit, on a heart-based level, they are so similar. They surround me with love and encouragement and allow me to be who I am. Yes, my dad may have passed all those moons ago when I was 5, but he shows me ways every single day that he is around. One of his favourite ways besides sending me hearts, is to bring me messages through songs that repeat over and over again until I look up all the words and know exactly what he is wanting to tell me. Music I have always found to be so magical, powerful, beautiful and healing, so he uses music to connect to my heart and bring more peace within, which often comes with an abundance of tears to this day.

Music, meditation and Reiki each alone have been hugely impactful for me on my personal healing journey with grief and within my heart. As more and more layers fall away, I continue to use them as part of my own healing journey. As a Reiki Master Practitioner, I believe for us to be of best service to others we must continually go within and work on our own wounds, grief and trauma.

So, on this day, I choose to celebrate my father’s birthday. Today I choose to celebrate the songs that offer me messages and deeper meanings. Today I choose to celebrate my journey. Today I choose to celebrate those I love and all that is beautiful in our world. Today I choose to be the student and the teacher as we all are. Today I say thank you for those who felt guided to read my first blog.

If you feel guided after reading this, put on some music, maybe it will start with the Bee Gees song – How Deep is Your Love on YouTube, or Spotify or however you choose your music selections. Then let the music mysteriously unfold before your eyes, ears and other senses. What song resonates with your heart, gives you goosebumps, takes your breath away, brings you to tears or some other energetic connection or release? Take it all in and let the music work to connect you to others, heal some wounds, release some energy, and all the most wonderful and powerful ways music can be so healing to our mind, body and soul. Sounds a little like how Reiki works too, doesn’t it? Reiki resonates with my heart and makes space for all this heart healing to take place, on its own and with all the ways music and meditation connect to my heart as well. How beautiful is that? Are you ready to make more space for love and peace within your heart?

Article by Jennifer Cluley

Free eBook download: We’ve created an eBook with our best articles on this topic, and offer it for free to all our newsletter subscribers.

Jennifer Cluley is a Reiki Master, Certified Meditation & Birth Star Mantra Teacher, Intuitive and Guide. Jennifer’s passion is to inspire others to connect to their heart to bring more balance, peace, love, forgiveness and harmony within, which then ripples into the home and out into the world. Jennifer’s anchor is Reiki and her meditation practice, her guide, which continues to assist her healing journey and guiding and assisting others who connect with her. A better understanding of ourselves and our connections with those we love, ultimately brings more harmony in the home. Jennifer’s children are her biggest motivators, her angels, guides and loved ones in spirit provide an abundance of support and many family and friends are her biggest sources of inspiration to lead a spirit led life.

Connect with Jennifer:
Website: jencluley.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/fromheadtoheart555
Instagram: www.instagram.com/jencluley_hopeanchors