Article by Angie Webster
It is not possible to get through life without having a few bumps and bruises on your heart along the way. Many of us have families that are full of fighting and anger, so we see heartache right from childhood, particularly if that anger is directed at us. In those cases, we may even learn unhealthy ways to be and to interact in relationship with others. Until we are able to begin healing this pattern, we are likely to find that we continue to become involved in friendships and romantic relationships that are unsupportive, inauthentic and destructive.
If you find that you are in a place of wounded resentment in a relationship or that you have ongoing pain with family relationships, consider letting go of the other person’s behavior. Offer it to the Divine in healing, just as you would in any other Reiki session. When we refuse to let go, we are restricting the flow of energy to only certain pathways and outcomes. Remember that you are not in control of another’s heart or behavior. Your realm is your own heart.
When we only look on the surface at what we perceive to be the problem in a situation, even if the “problem” seems obvious, then we are risking creating blame and that closes our hearts. We have created a wound in ourselves and restricted our own energy pathways. That restriction begins to shut us down. We can’t give or receive love as fully and we go into a state of protection, as if love itself is the enemy. Once we can heal this, we often see that we can let go of our expectations of other people and free ourselves by doing so. Paradoxically, this sometimes brings great healing to the entire relationship, though even when it doesn’t heal the rift, it heals the grief the rift caused.
Image by David Goehring
Here is a healing visualization exercise that you can use to send healing to your heart and to a relationship that has been wounded. You may wish to hold a piece of rose quartz or other crystal in your hand for this exercise.
Envision your Highest Self or your Guardian Angel holding you gently in their arms. See them stroking your hair and offering you comfort in any way that feels good to you. Allow them to offer you the love, tenderness and affection that you may have been needing from others. Feel them soothing and healing any hurts in your heart. Join your Angel in sending healing energy to your heart. Feel your strength and joy returning as you do so. You may imagine that the rose quartz is your heart if you wish, and beam healing energy directly into that, as a proxy.
Next, envision the relationship you wish to send healing to. No need to focus on any specific circumstance in the relationship. You can simply focus on the connection between your heart and the heart of the other party. Allow the goodwill and the healing energy that you have generated so far to extend to this connection between the two of you. Ask the Angels to help you remove the painful cords that still linger between the two of you. Ask them to help you burn away any attachments that are formed in dysfunction and grief, leaving only the ones that serve love and the Divine.
Lastly, place any remaining thoughts or emotions that you have about the person or the relationship into a symbolic box or bubble. Seal it and ask that it be carried to the Light by your guides and Angels. Fully release it, knowing that you are no longer carrying it. Ask them to help you move forward with openheartedness to see with love and to receive their guidance along the way.
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Angie Webster made a significant contribution to the Reiki community, with a particular focus on Animal Reiki, which she had a deep affection for. As a knowledgeable Reiki Master Teacher and Author, she conducted online courses on energy healing, herbalism, flower essences, and personal growth.
She is the author of “Animal Reiki: How it Heals, Teaches & Reconnects Us with Nature” and “Reiki from A to Z”. Currently, Angie has decided to retire from her professional life to devote more time to her health, family, and the little joys of life.
Love it.
Hi, would this work for a family member that has passed on?
Paula, yes it would help regardless of the circumstances.
What if there are lots of bad memories and heartbreaking experience.. What to do then how to heal ?? Plz help
Hi Anupriya, follow the same steps in the article for simple hurts or many deep hurts. If you feel the need to repeat more than once, then than is fine.
Thank you
Hi what to do in terms of my partner suffering from an ectopic pregnancy after break up. And holds the anger and blame on me. Also I take 100% responsibility for creating my own experiences and my world. I am a reiki level 2.
Hi Meher,
Your primary responsibility in this situation will be to send healing to yourself and to the relationship. There is little you can do regarding changing your ex-partner’s feelings toward you, as she must be allowed to cope with her losses and grief in her own way. But you can heal your own heart and your response to her grief reaction. Reiki can help you through self-treatment, which should be done every day, and by sending healing the the relationship, both in the past and the present. You may also choose to send Reiki to the situation, which may bring overall healing to any unresolved feelings and promote compassion for all concerned, yourself included.