They Think YOU’RE the Expert! Now what?

This article is based on Beyond the Reiki Gateway’s podcast “They Think YOU’RE the Expert! Now what?” created by Reiki Masters Kathleen Johnson and Andrea Kennedy.

Choose your words wisely: they can bring confidence & peace or doubt & fear

Kathleen Johnson:
Because regardless of whether you’re a Reiki practitioner or any other type of wellness or holistic practitioner, we have a responsibility to our clients. Because when they first come to us, you gotta remember, they’re going to see you as the expert. And although that may sound great and it makes you feel good, it carries with it in an enormous responsibility. One that I think every practitioner needs to be aware of and mindful when they are working with clients.

Andrea Kennedy:
I couldn’t agree more, Kathleen, I think that this is a great topic and I’m just going to say right up front. When I first started, I certainly never felt like an expert and I didn’t realize that people would see me that way. Of course, I’ve come a long way since then and I have come to realize the responsibilities that we have in our roles as practitioners and then even more so, if we are teachers in our field as well. But I think it’s important that we share our experience with people if they’re interested, because maybe it will help them realize their important roles that they have and their influence, whether they’ve ever thought about it or not, with their clients.

And what we say really matters. We can instill comfort; we can instill feelings of peace and wholeness in the language we use. But at the same time, we can also, unknowing to ourselves, create doubt, create worry and unrest with our clients, never even meaning or intending to have that happen. But regardless, we really do have that power, and I just think it’s important to take a look at that, have a conversation about it and bring it out in the open so that people could maybe be more aware and make more conscious choices in their interactions with their clients and, of course, students as well.

Clients will see you as an expert, whether you consider yourself one or not

Kathleen Johnson:
Of course, we do have a responsibility and honestly, I wish I had this conversation with someone when I was first starting out. I don’t know about you, Andrea, but when I first started practicing Reiki, I was already a Reiki Master. I wanted to wait to start practicing until I achieved the Master level. But even so, I had no real experience with it other than what I had worked on in classes and with family and friends. But I soon realized that when clients would come to me, they viewed me as the expert. And honestly, my thought was this is scary. I was a bit frightened of that. I said earlier that oh, it might make you feel good. It really didn’t. When I was first starting out it scared me. I thought, oh boy, I hope I can live up to what they expect from me.

I’ve been careful to be mindful of what I say to clients, although I can’t think of any instances off the top of my head. But I’m sure I’ve said things to people over the years with all well-meaning intentions, that probably had the opposite effect. But I can say with no reservation that I have always been mindful of what I say to clients because, as you said, we have a choice there. We can either create comfort and rest and peace for them or we can instill fear and doubt. And I certainly don’t want anyone leaving me feeling fearful and doubtful about themselves or who they are or their path or any of these things.

Andrea Kennedy:
I totally agree with that. I know when I was starting out… I have to say I still am in awe of Reiki. I’m still learning. And to think that I’m the expert, I want to laugh at that, because Reiki is a practice. So, we’re just practicing and you never really arrive to be an expert, you just gain more experience.

Are you a beginner and afraid of offering Reiki? It’s ok.

Andrea Kennedy:
And then we can share it with people and hopefully I’ll be better for it. But I’m sure when I started out, I was clunky. I probably was afraid of my own shadow when I was offering Reiki to people for the first time. I know I was self-conscious and worried about how the session was going to go. I was probably a nervous wreck having to talk with them and even sound intelligent at all. And boy, I just have to chuckle when I think about that.

And wow, it’s probably good that I can’t remember any conversations I had early on, because I probably just want to crawl under the desk. But I’d like to think, it’s not that I’d like to think, I know I have come such a long way. And that’s what I’m hoping, that we help people with this conversation, is just support them to come a little bit further in the journey about how we relate to our clients and our students.

Reiki is mystical enough, I think. And it’s mysterious enough that as practitioners, as teachers, I think that just makes it more important for us to be very decisive on how we communicate with our clients. We want to be clear; we don’t want to leave things all fuzzy and mysterious, because it is just such an unknown what really happens during a session. We know it’s good.

Your clients will look for meaning

We know Reiki is always helpful, but at the same time, there’s just still a lot we don’t see or recognize that’s happening and people also always have questions about I felt this sensation or that sensation. What did that mean? I think it’s natural for our clients to look for meaning and I think that’s the first place, I guess I would say, that the practitioner needs to pay attention. Because as our clients want meaning, what are we going to do with that? What are we going to offer? And I think that’s a pretty big deal right there.

Kathleen Johnson:
It is because… think about the time that you have been a recipient of any kind of wellness modality. We want to have those kinds of conversations. What does that mean? And can you tell me more? Of course, I think that’s a natural human response to these kinds of sessions. So, of course our clients are going to want to have meaning applied to that in some way. However, I think one of the first things we need to keep in mind is that words matter. Words do matter.

Words have energy and power

I know we’ve said in previous episodes that words have energy. Of course they do, everything has
energy. But when you’re working with clients, when you’re working with Reiki or any kind of energy, whether it’s Reiki or crystals or meditation or astrology or past lives, whatever, words matter. The things you say to a client are so very important and not just the words, but the delivery. I’m very mindful of how I say things to clients, because I am very careful not to instill any fear or doubt, as much as possible.

Sometimes you may have to say something they may not really want to hear, but Reiki is telling you what’s in accordance with their highest good, and they need to know this. But the delivery of that becomes even more important. It is an opportunity for them to do something that’s going to help them, as opposed to something that’s just going to scare the crap out of them and they’re going to be even worse off than they were when they came to see you. So words do matter and I do think that’s one of the first things we have to remember when we’re working with people.

Sometimes, you better keep quiet

Andrea Kennedy:
Absolutely. Memories comes up for me when you talk about that. There was an incident at a Reiki Share few years back. And I heard about this from a friend of mine. She took her younger friend to a Reiki Share. My friend of course, knew about Reiki, but her younger friend didn’t really know much about it. So this was her first experience. They attended a Reiki Share and apparently there was a person there who was a Reiki Master. And when this young lady was receiving Reiki, the other practitioners were also offering Reiki to her.

But this Reiki Master commented, wow, every time I placed my hands next to you, my head just starts throbbing so badly. I can’t even take the pain and oh, my goodness. Now I understand the Reiki Master was trying to figure out for herself what was happening here. She didn’t understand it. I think really that’s one reason she verbalized it; she was trying to make sense of it herself. But her responsibility, at least from my viewpoint, would be to keep quiet.

Kathleen Johnson:
Right.

Andrea Kennedy:
Because what ended up happening was this young girl spent the entire ride home, half an hour or longer, freaking out basically about her energy. She didn’t know much about energy at all. She didn’t understand energy. And she was under the impression that maybe her energy was bad or harmful to other people. She thought, my gosh, I’m a weapon and don’t even know it.

I’m just… anybody that I come into contact with, have I hurt them? Am I damaging people just by being next to them?

Anyway, it really undermined her self-confidence. She probably had a pretty negative experience with Reiki. I think that would be fair to say. And whether or not she opened back up to it, I don’t know. I find it so unfortunate that this has occurred, and I think that story does really illustrate the power of words and the responsibility. Sometimes, we just need to keep our mouths shut. It isn’t about us, and it isn’t about our experience.

Kathleen Johnson:
That is unfortunate, and I am curious as to whether this young woman ever decided to give another try with Reiki, because I don’t know that I would have after something like that. That would have been very frightening and unsettling to say the least. And I think that’s a great story, Andrea, because it really illustrates how words matter. And yes, the Reiki practitioner, a better choice for her would have been to say nothing.

And especially at Master level, she would realize that this happens sometimes and there’s no need to make your client or the recipient feel like they’re causing you harm. That’s never a good idea under any circumstances. As far as I can tell, that story was a really good example of what we’re trying to convey, that words matter. And sometimes no words matter even more.

Andrea Kennedy:
Absolutely, it can be so hard to keep our mouth shut sometimes, but it is for the highest good. Just, you know what it reminds me of? It’s on social media, it’s like you see something and it kind of gets you going. And the hardest thing to do sometimes is to scroll on by.

Kathleen Johnson:
Exactly.

Andrea Kennedy:
But you know what? It’s the best option. At least that’s what I found. And it is hard to do. It is the best option when it’s the hardest.

When should you convey to the client the intuitive information you’ve got during a session?

Kathleen Johnson:
I don’t know how you feel about this, Andrea, but I know this is something that comes up in the Reiki community from time to time, is what responsibility do we have as practitioners, to share information and impressions that come in during a session with our clients? I know I’ve heard various points of view, perspectives about this. I am going to share mine, for what it’s worth. My feeling and the way Reiki has guided me over the years tells me that the information I received during a session or any impressions is for the client. The information that anything that comes in is for the client, it is not about me. The session is about the client. So, I, as the practitioner, as the channel for Reiki, have an obligation, if you will, to convey that information to the recipient.

And that’s where that responsibility comes in and the fact that words matter comes in. So, at the end of the session, when you’re sitting there with the client and they’re becoming more grounded and they’re settling in and they’re wanting to discuss what happened. What does this mean, etc? That’s when we have to be mindful. And I think we also have to be very much in tune with our guidance and our intuition when we speak to clients at that point in the session, we are being guided by what we say and how we deliver the information. Now the good news is, for me at least, most of the time, the information is good. It’s always positively delivered by spirit to me, because spirit doesn’t say awful things to us.

Andrea Kennedy:
Great.

Kathleen Johnson:
If you hear awful things, it’s not from spirit. I just got news for you.

Andrea Kennedy:
That’s right.

Kathleen Johnson:
Yes. You know that, I know you do. So, it’s not that hard to deliver good news if you will. But even good news can create fear, depending on how it’s delivered. And I think that’s important to remember. So yeah, that’s my whole point is… the perspective I have is that it’s our responsibility to convey that information to the client. I don’t know how you feel about it, but I’d love to hear your take on it.

Andrea Kennedy:
I find it pretty funny, because as you are talking, I took a little teleportation back to many years ago, Kathleen; we’ve talked about it before. I was such a Reiki purist. When I started with Reiki at that Master level, I was doing the distance sessions and I started seeing and getting information about whoever I was working on. That fascinated me, but at the same time I thought that’s not Reiki.

Reiki is spiritually guided life force energy and it’s just the energy. So, who am I to get this information? And so, I had a real conflict with that in the beginning, even though I thought it was really cool. It fascinated me. I wanted more of that.

But I couldn’t reconcile it with Reiki. Am I doing a disservice to Reiki by sharing that? And I remember I was struggling and my husband says to me one day: “It’s coming through for a reason. It’s for that person, you have to share it,” which is exactly what you’re saying.

Kathleen Johnson:
Right.

Andrea Kennedy:
I think I just had to hear him say it out loud. Then I was just like, yeah, you’re right. What am I fighting this for?

Kathleen Johnson:
Right.

Andrea Kennedy:
And in the show notes I’ll put a link to a YouTube video that I had made about this whole intuition thing, because our listeners might want to go a little bit further with that. But I was so petrified to tell people what was coming through. I had such a fear of being wrong and misleading them or saying the wrong thing. Oh, my gosh. All I can say it was just so gut wrenching to me once I decided, okay, that is part of this because it is for them. It was just very hard for me to get out of the way and just tell them what came through. But I knew that’s what I had to do.

Another big challenge for me was to take myself out of the equation. I wanted the client to believe what I said. I had all of these motives that I wanted to… Number one: be accurate. Number two: come across in a positive way. Number three: don’t think I’m crazy for telling you this.
So, I had all of these. I know, I had all these requirements on myself and ahhh… I look back, it just exhausts me thinking about it, but we really do have to set ourselves aside and just be true to the message.

Learn to get out of the way, it is not about you

And it does remind me of how we practice Reiki. We get out of the way. I think it’s similar when we go to communicate with our clients and our students. It isn’t about us.

Kathleen Johnson:
Yes, that’s absolutely right. And like you, I was scared when I first started receiving impressions and things, I was scared starting out anyway. And then, when I got impressions and information, first of all, I thought I’m just making this all up. This can’t be what I’m thinking, because who am I? I had never really considered myself to be super intuitive or clairvoyant or anything. And even though I knew that Reiki does enhance our innate intuitive abilities, I was still doubting myself.

And so, everything you described, Andrea, is all about the ego. You want to be right. You don’t want to say anything wrong. You want them to come back. You want them to have a good experience.

And that’s all about our egos. And I know when I’m setting an intention for a client before a session, one of the main things I say is “I intend that my ego and my personality and my expectation step aside, so that I’m a clear and pure channel for Reiki.” Because we do have to get out of our way and when we don’t, that’s when it gets very tangled up. And when I finally learned that lesson, it took me a while, I don’t know how long, it seemed like a long time, but it probably wasn’t. But when I finally stepped out of my way, the information and everything just flowed so much more easily.

Andrea Kennedy:
I agree with that for sure. It certainly isn’t.

Kathleen Johnson:
No, it is not.

Andrea Kennedy:
And one of the things I think is interesting about what I’m hearing you talk about. We were pretty similar with this reluctance. Who am I?

Kathleen Johnson:
Right.

Practitioners want so much to be psychic, they can misinterpret the message

Andrea Kennedy:
Is this right? We were very questioning about it, at least it seems to me and careful about it. One of the things that I’m seeing a lot though with people in the wellness community, Reiki practitioners, Reiki students is instead of coming at it the way we did perhaps, there’s almost a reaching for it. So many people that I know, they are reaching for their intuitiveness to be psychic. And they’re wanting that so much, that I do have a bit of a concern. It might just be a little bit easier for them to overstep or to make interpretations of the messages on behalf of their clients and convey things that might not actually be completely accurate.

Kathleen Johnson:
Agreed. And I’ve noticed this with people over the years too, some students, not all, I would say they’re in the minority, but those who try, as you said, they’re reaching for it, they try, and they try to do Reiki, they try to be intuitive. And one of the things I cover in my classes is that when you start to try, you’re essentially closing off a lot of the energy flow, because you’re introducing that energy of fear. Oh my God, I have to do this. What if it doesn’t work? That kind of feeling, the worry, the fear, the doubt, and as soon as you introduce those elements, the energy flow becomes restricted. It’s just the way it is.

So, when we try, we’re actually sabotaging ourselves. We need to, as you said, just let it happen. Reiki will naturally enhance your intuition. It’s just the way it works. The more you practice it, the more you work with it, it’s going to happen and it’s going to happen for each one of us in the time that is right for each one of us. There’s no time table, it’s like okay, let me say six months from now I’m going to be totally clairvoyant. No, it doesn’t work that way.

With me it was very gradual. I spent a long time thinking I was just maybe losing it. I’m still getting this information and I’m afraid to share it, but I did it anyway and going, oh God, I hope they don’t think I’m nuts, that feeling. But then when I started getting the feedback from clients, most of the time things I said to them resonated, then it starts to become its own reward. You’re like, ok, I guess I’m not, at least not about that anyway, but you’re still out on the rest of it, honestly.

But I think the trying part, knowing you said people reach and they try. That honestly is a form of self sabotage. I don’t know if you’ve noticed that with any students or even clients, because I have a lot of my clients, are Reiki people too. If you’ve ever noticed that with them, that trying aspect can really be an obstacle.

Andrea Kennedy:
I have noticed that and I feel as though it’s exhausting for them. And what will often happen is if they are practitioner, they fall out of practice. I think because of the exhaustion of it all. And that’s understandable.

Kathleen Johnson:
Yes.

Andrea Kennedy:
Anytime we just try and try who’s not going to get tired of that?

Learn the value of patience

I’ll get tired of that, but when things are in a flow and we allow, oh, it’s so easy. The visual I got is like on an inner tube in a river, just riding it on down, nice and relaxing versus trying to paddle upstream or something like that. I just think maybe there’s an influence too, culturally, we want everything right this second, and we don’t want to wait.

And we want an instant gratification. People want to turn to the last page of the book and see how it ends up. They don’t want to read it all, I think.

Kathleen Johnson:
I agree.

Andrea Kennedy:
And I get that. I can be quite impatient and I identify all of the things that we’ve talked about today. Wow, I can look back and I can say, oh yeah, that was me. Oh, yep, yep, done that. too. So, it’s all a journey though. We all just learn from where we’ve been and get better and better, hopefully. I think that’s the goal anyway.

Don’t be the Master of Reiki, let Reiki be the Master of you!

Kathleen Johnson:
It is, and as you said earlier, it’s a practice. It’s called a practice for a reason. We’re never going to be expert at this. I don’t consider myself a Reiki expert. I’m learning about Reiki every day. We call ourselves Reiki Masters, but I’ve always said that Reiki is the Master of me. I am not the Master of Reiki by a long shot. So, I’m learning every day. I learn so much from my clients and my students, but getting back to the issue of trying and reaching and people just becoming burned out on that. They just finally say ah and give it up. A lot of times that is because what they’re doing is they end up using their own energy instead of Reiki’s energy when they’re working with clients, they’re clenched, they’re tight, their muscles are clenched. And that’s the only way I can describe it. And they’re just trying to force the energy through.

I can recall a student several years ago, he was practicing during a Reiki II class and I was watching them practice. And I looked at him and his face. He looked like he was in horrible pain. His eyes were screwed shut, real tight. His face was like contorted and I went over to him and I said very softly, may I ask what you are doing? I said, are you all right?

Because it looked like he was in torment and he said, I’m trying to channel Reiki. I said, that’s your problem if you’re trying to channel Reiki.

Andrea Kennedy:
Right.

Kathleen Johnson:
I said, do me a favor, I said, put your hands down, let them fall at your sides. Reiki is flowing. You know it is. Take a couple of deep breaths. Now, put your hands up again and don’t try, just let it. He did it again. And he’s, oh, that’s what it feels like. Yeah, isn’t that better? But he really looked like he was in pain, the poor guy.

Andrea Kennedy:
Isn’t it funny, because we started off the episode talking about our responsibilities? And now we’re talking about let it go. Don’t even try. So it’s funny, I find it ironic, but that it’s so true. I know, at least about Reiki, it is so true, we have a responsibility to get out of the way, we have a responsibility to let go. And we have a responsibility to simply be mindful and be present in our communication and our interactions.

And I think if we do those things, we can encourage our students and our clients too, to perhaps do that for themselves in their own lives. Maybe if we can live the example and succeed for at least part of the time, maybe that can be helpful to them. I just thought that was pretty funny in the light of the subject of responsibility. But we do, we have a number of responsibilities, I guess.

Kathleen Johnson:
You’re right, that does sound like we took a sharp left there somewhere along the line and you cleaned it up nicely. We do have a responsibility to allow Reiki to flow without imposing ourselves upon it, and that’s part of the mystery and the beauty of Reiki, it will do that. It will flow on its own. All we need to do is allow it and we do that when we set our intention.

So, our responsibility is to allow Reiki to do what it needs, but we also have other responsibilities, as you said, a big responsibility to be mindful of what we say to clients, that’s a responsibility as well. So even though it sounds like we’re saying, yeah, just do whatever you want. That’s not what we’re saying. So please don’t send us any angry emails, please. That’s not exactly what we’re saying. We’re just saying, let Reiki do what it does and let your ego step out of the way.

Andrea Kennedy:
Yes.

Kathleen Johnson:
That’s the responsibility we bear. And honestly, when you talk about responsibility, Andrea, nowhere does that come more into play than when you’re teaching Reiki. Oh, my goodness. You talk about a huge responsibility when you step into the role of a Reiki teacher. If people think you’re an expert before, when you start teaching it, your fate is sealed, you are definitely the expert. Maybe in their minds, not so much in my mind. I don’t know how you feel about it, Andrea.

But my goodness, that is a really big responsibility.

Andrea Kennedy:
It is, it so is. I remember I never thought I would ever teach Reiki and I only ever came to teach because people were asking me, don’t you teach this? Can you teach this? Won’t you teach this? And after several people suggested and asked that, then I decided this is happening for a reason. So, I think maybe I need to think about this. And I know that those early classes, I know I did my best and I think that’s all we can do is do our best.

But I bet if I could sit in one of those early classes today, as a student, I’d probably be horrified to hear how I taught, just because I didn’t have the experience I have today.

Kathleen Johnson:
Right.

Andrea Kennedy:
You know what? I’m just grateful that I followed the guidance and I started, because I’m the teacher I am today because of those days. And I don’t regret anything at all. I just think it enriches the whole thing. But teaching, it might sound really sappy, it is such an honor for me to be chosen as a teacher. When someone decides they’d like to learn Reiki, I am just honored and, sappy or not, it is the truth. I sign on for life with my students. I don’t care if it’s 20 years later. I don’t care if they have a question. I want them to ask me. I’ll never not respond to one of my students.

Kathleen Johnson:
That’s great, Andrea. I appreciate you saying that, it’s true. I am the same way. I don’t hear from all my students all the time and I don’t really expect to, but I make it very clear that if they have questions or have concerns or if they just simply wanna reach out and say, hey, how you doing? I’m there. I don’t look at it as okay, we had a great class, bye, see you, have a nice life. It’s never been my approach at all. And, like you, it’s funny when you said you waited to teach. I was the same way. I just didn’t, because I didn’t think I could, I didn’t think I was good enough.

And it just seemed like a huge responsibility, because I do have teaching background prior to Reiki. And I always felt that sense of responsibility. But for something like Reiki, where you’re working with energy and people’s spiritual and emotional and mental lives, it just felt overwhelming. I waited close to two years, but like you, I was getting the nudges. I had people say you really should teach this, because this is neat, I’d like to learn it, but I don’t know anybody around here, that kind of thing. So, finally, I did. And like you, I’m sure that if I was watching those first classes, I’d probably be sitting there with my hands over my face, cringing in a choir. Or maybe not. I don’t know.

But my classes have changed and evolved. And as I always said too, Reiki teaches the class, I really believe that, don’t you?

Andrea Kennedy:
Yes.

Kathleen Johnson:
I’ve heard other teachers say that as well. I just feel like Reiki is the teacher, because I know I’ve had questions asked in class by students. And sometimes I would think, I don’t know the answer to this, but then all the sudden the perfect answer would come into my mind and I knew that it was Reiki working through me.

Andrea Kennedy:
Me too.

Kathleen Johnson:
So, Reiki does indeed teach the class. Which is a huge relief, what a huge relief that is. That is, it just makes me feel so much better. It makes me feel comfortable, which is great, because that comfort is then conveyed to the students. They can see that I’m comfortable talking about these things and in turn they are more comfortable. Yeah. But and like you, I also view that as a huge honor. It’s a lifetime responsibility. That’s how I see it. I don’t often hear from my students, but when I do, I’m there, I can answer a question or whatever they need. I want to be there for them.

I wrote an article about the role of the Reiki teacher several years ago. And in it I refer to well, I consider the Reiki teacher a spiritual guardian, that’s the term I used.

I think it’s just, it’s something you sign on for, as you said, you sign on for that. I still very much adhere to that belief and it’s what guides me when I teach.

Andrea Kennedy:
I love what you said about Reiki teaching the class. And it does remind me everything seems to, in this conversation, remind me apparently of when we do Reiki sessions, it’s all about the Reiki, and what we must do in it.
And so, it is funny how that’s so true even in teaching the class. Of course, as the teacher, we do the organizing and all of that stuff.

But exactly, as you said, there have been times where a student asks something. And Andrea, is in my head going…

Kathleen Johnson:
Right.

Andrea Kennedy:
What do I say? I’ve never heard that one before.

Kathleen Johnson:
Right.

Let Reiki give the answers you seek

Andrea Kennedy:
And I just take a breath and exactly the right thing is on the tip of my tongue and I deliver that and it’s just awesome. And we can make another parallel to this too, the Reiki teachers. I’m sure we can all remember when we first started and we were doing the attunements, and for listeners unfamiliar with Reiki learning and Reiki teaching, the attunement is the process where the student is linked up or tuned into the Reiki energy, certain frequencies of energy. It allows them to be able to channel that for the benefit of themselves or others. So, it’s a process that happens in a Reiki class. And when… I know, all of us teachers probably have this in common. I’m fairly certain that when we were teaching those early classes and we performed the attunements for the students. I don’t know about you Kathleen, but I was sitting there going oh man, is this even going to work?

Kathleen Johnson:
Right.

Andrea Kennedy:
All I’m doing is I’m just tapping her on the shoulder. I’m holding her hands, things like this and I’m like, is this even going to do anything? And the sense of relief when the students report their experiences during attunement and then they practice and they feel the energy. It’s like the biggest ah, excitement ever.

Kathleen Johnson:
Oh, I know. It’s so true.

Andrea Kennedy:
And that’s the Reiki, the Reiki meets us in the Reiki classroom. And it is ever present. So, what a blessing it is, in just so many different ways.

Kathleen Johnson:
It really is. And I’m so glad you mentioned about the attunement, I forgot about those terror-filled moments. I’m trying to be a pure and clear channel for Reiki and I’m shaking in my shoes going oh, my goodness.

Why am I doing? This is not going to work. I’m going to make a fool of myself. They’re going to demand a refund, right?

Andrea Kennedy:
I know, I know. And the crazy thing is that it worked.

Kathleen Johnson:
It always worked.

Andrea Kennedy:
Even when we were having all those busy fears in our heads, all the doubts and all that. And even as a practitioner, there are times that I didn’t really feel much energy and I’m thinking is it even working? I actually had a client once I thought, man, I just feel nothing. And she was very skeptical. And as soon as she opened her eyes, Reiki is real and she was so enthusiastic.

And I gave out that phew again, thinking oh, thank you, Reiki. Thank you.

Kathleen Johnson:
It always comes through. It’s amazing to me because there was a time when I was a true skeptic of Reiki and even after my first class, even though it was an amazing class and I was so excited about it, I still was like, oh no, it’s not real, that kind of thing. But yeah, it always comes through, whether it’s in a class answering a question, in an attunement or a placement when you’re just thinking, this is not going to work. I just know it’s not work and it does. It just always comes through.

So, I think also when we talk about responsibility, one of the things that came to mind when you were talking about the attunement, which made me laugh because I remember those days not so fondly. They were quite terrifying. But one of the things that came to mind is we have a responsibility to accept and trust that Reiki is going to work. And if we just accept and trust that responsibility and know that Reiki is going to work the way it needs to, for that particular person at that particular time, we’re good, we’re good.

And then when the session is over, we have that responsibility to convey any information or impressions that are relevant or beneficial to the individual. That’s another responsibility. But yes, as long as we remember that we need to accept and trust that Reiki is going to do what it needs to do, we really can’t go wrong.

Andrea Kennedy:
Yes, and the responsibility, I just feel like I want to underscore this is when we discussed the session, we don’t reach, we don’t take a leap about interpretation, meaning, context. I can tell you, I have had clients where information came through and I had seen the clients for some time, so I was little bit aware of their personal lives. I remember one client in particular and I was getting all this information. It was pretty specific, but it was almost like a dream in a sense, because I was seeing a whole scene with her play out in my mind’s eye.

And Andrea wondered, oh, I think this is about her and her significant other. But I wasn’t sure about it and I was thankful that I felt the difference between what came through in the session and Andrea’s interpretation. And I think it’s important to be mindful and always be looking at that. If we are getting information during sessions, look for the origin of the information. Is it just coming through the session? Is it coming from your thoughts? We need to get clarity on that. What happened in the session is that when we were discussing the session together, something inside me held me back from my interpretation.

Now my ego wanted to know if I was right, my ego was like, oh, I bet it’s the boyfriend, you know, kind of thing. So, I was naturally curious and that little part of me would have thought it would be cool if I was right. But it didn’t resonate with the truth center inside me. And I left it out. And we talked, I delivered only what came through that I knew was in resonance with that truth. And you know what she said? She said, I can’t believe you use some of those words. It’s amazing, because I used the exact same words in an email to my boss this morning and I went, oh my gosh. It was the boss; it wasn’t a boyfriend. I was like thank you!!!

Kathleen Johnson:
Thank you.

Andrea Kennedy:
Because that I not stuck to what came through in the session, I would have lost credibility, not with just myself. I would have really raked myself over the coals about that decision. But the client would have received information or my opinion, so to speak, that would not have been accurate. And I’m just really thankful that I stuck to the guidance.

Kathleen Johnson:
That is a really good point. I’m glad you brought that up. We have to sort it out within ourselves too, when we receive information. Is it something that we want it to be, or is it truly from the energy? And I think what you described as far as feeling that reluctance almost to say that to her, that’s the clear sign that you didn’t need to say that. I’ve had that happen to me too, where I would occasionally get information or impressions. And I thought, oh, I bet I know what that is. And then I would hurriedly write it down in my notes. And when it came time for the discussion, I was like you, oh, I want to say this and just be the hero here. And something just would not let me say it. And I didn’t say it.

I’m so glad I didn’t, because I could tell just from the overall discussion that what I had, you know, I had labeled this as being, wasn’t anything at all that I had thought it was. So, it’s very important that we achieve clarity, as you said, and I’m glad that you said that because that hadn’t occurred to me during this conversation and the reach, it happens to us. I still do that occasionally. Not only as much as I used to, but it still happens, especially like you said, when you work with someone and know quite a bit about their history and you know who they are. You spent time with them.

I think there is more of a tendency to do that, because you think, oh, I know what this is. I think we need to be even more careful working with people that we know. So we don’t attach something inaccurate to what has happened.

Let your clients interpret what is coming through during the session

Andrea Kennedy:
Yeah, and we’ve been talking a lot about trust and I think this is just another example of that. We need to trust our clients, that whatever it is that comes through in the session that we convey, we can trust them to interpret for themselves. Allow them to interpret it, allow them to see how it resonates and in what way, because no matter if it came through to us or not, nothing is going to compare with the process of them feeling through that and interpreting it on their own. We really need to let go of our need to do it all for them.

Kathleen Johnson:
Yeah, I absolutely agree with that. I think some clients want us to do that and they will say this happened and that happened during the session and then they’ll say to me, what do you think? What does that mean? My typical response is I don’t really know. That was information for you. And at some point, the information and its relevance will be revealed, it may not be today, may not be tomorrow, but it will come to you when the time is right.

You gotta remember that Reiki is going to give you everything you need at this moment in time. So perhaps this information is coming through, just so it is there in your energy field, so it arrives at just the right time. I’m very careful not to say Ok, this happened, so it must be this. I don’t want to do their interpretation for them. Or as you said, basically doing their work for them. But when they receive the information, it’s really up to them to come to their own conclusions or not about what it means. Agreed?

Andrea Kennedy:
Absolutely.

Tech your clients that they have to do the work, not you

Kathleen Johnson:
You know, I don’t take on that responsibility because yeah, we have responsibilities, but the responsibility does not include doing the client’s work for them. Absolutely not.

Andrea Kennedy:
Right. There are limits.

Kathleen Johnson:
There are and that’s a huge boundary. And I’m sure, since you’ve been practicing a long time, you’ve probably had clients that wanted you to do their work for them. I know I have people come in week after week or every other week or whatever it is, coming in with the same issues over and over again because, very simply, they’re not doing the work required to address and resolve those issues. They are expecting Reiki to solve all their problems and that is where our responsibility ends, that is not our responsibility.

I know a lot of people don’t want to hear that. Not necessarily our listeners, but some clients, they don’t want to hear that, they want the easy fix. Ok, I’ll have this Reiki session. Everything will be better. It just doesn’t work that way. You got to do your own heavy lifting, as I tell them.

Andrea Kennedy:
Very true, Kathleen, and it is a responsibility then to let go. Again, this is another example of a responsibility of letting go. And that can be so difficult for practitioners of any modality to let it go, allow the client or patient or whatever it is in whatever field you work in, that they’ve got to sit in it, that this is their journey. And there is a limit. There is a boundary to what our responsibilities are if we are supporting them in the healthiest ways.

One thing I have said for many years is from my perspective, we are the lighthouse. And we’re just there to bring in the light over and over, and we’re just offering light. The lighthouse does not chase the ships down the river and try and save them from the water fall or the rocks or whatever is out there. That’s so fearful sounding, right?

Kathleen Johnson:
Right.

Andrea Kennedy:
The lighthouse just brings in the light and the responsibility to turn the wheel and to avoid the potential of damage or hurt or whatever is on the captain of the ship. That’s the client. It can be so hard to watch that and to trust and know that it is their journey no matter what choice they make. That can really be a challenge. Because typically we care a lot about our clients and our students, and we want them to get better and it can really be a struggle. I know, at least for myself, I’ve seen that.

Kathleen Johnson:
I was thinking the same thing when you were describing the lighthouse, which was a great comparison by the way. It’s hard for people in our profession, working with any kind of healing art or practice to watch people struggle, because we got into this field, we started doing this because we care. We want to help. One of the hardest lessons for me to learn was you can’t fix anybody. That was very hard for me to learn because I want to go around and spread light and make everybody feel better. And we can all sit around and sing Kumbaya, that’s the way I am.

It’s been a hard lesson for me, but it’s been an important one for me that I can’t do that. And even if I could, it’s not my job. It is not my responsibility, because if I take on that responsibility, I’m depriving them of doing what they need to do on their journey. I am not helping myself or them. You need to learn when to back off and say this is on you now.

Andrea Kennedy:
And that’s important for our self-care.

Feeling overwhelmed by the responsibility?

Andrea Kennedy:
Because if we allow ourselves to not let them have their journey and their freedom of choice, it can completely take us over. I remember I had a client years ago who was a medical doctor and she came for Reiki and she was fairly young and she was beside herself. The session was very tear filled. She was at a juncture, because of course she invested everything of who she was to become a doctor, but she was working with seriously ill people, who most of the time would not take her medical advice to help themselves. She just watched them deteriorate over time because they wouldn’t change their behaviors or their lifestyle.

And it created a crisis for her because she of course became a doctor to help people. Many of them were making choices that she knew were very destructive and then to lose those patients, for them to lose their lives like that. She was at a crossroads and I just bring that up because again, this crosses many modalities, what we have mentioned. But that story sticks out to me, because it was just heart wrenching for her. And she needed to make some really big life decisions because she was allowing it to very much affect her.

Kathleen Johnson:
It affects all the healing professions, whether medical, holistic, whatever, anyone who’s in a healing career, working with people to help them heal in some way encounters this from time to time. You want to do everything you can, but there comes a time when you realize that you’ve done everything you can and now it’s up to them to make the choices that are best for them, and not up to us to tell them what to do. And I very much avoid telling people what to do, too. I will make recommendations like here’s a book that might be helpful, that kind of thing.

Or maybe you could consider this, but I don’t ever say do this, do that. I don’t think that’s my job, again. That’s taking too much of their responsibility onto me.

Andrea Kennedy:
We wouldn’t want to “should” them. We wouldn’t want to “should” all over our clients.

Kathleen Johnson:
No, I am not going to “should” on my clients at all.

Andrea Kennedy:
I know, right?

Kathleen Johnson:
I don’t think they would come back.

Andrea Kennedy:
No, I agree with you. I know, they get enough of that probably in their own mental chatter.

Kathleen Johnson:
It’s the truth. It’s the truth.

Andrea Kennedy:
Like the most of us, they don’t need it from another source.

Kathleen Johnson:
Exactly.

Andrea Kennedy:
It’s so true. Yeah, I don’t do that either. I… my thing is I invite my clients, invite them to consider a book, invite them to consider this change, if it resonates with them or whatever. And then I let it go.

Because that means my job’s over. I’m putting it into their awareness.

And then when we have awareness, we have choice. And I let them have that.

Kathleen Johnson:
Exactly. And that’s what I do too I say, OK, there’s a book that you may find helpful. It may resonate. So, if you feel like this is something you could benefit from, give it a look and if not, ok, it’s what you said, see where it lands and if it lands with them, great. And if it doesn’t, that’s ok too, no hard feelings. That’s my responsibility to offer them maybe different ways of looking at things. Maybe a shift in perspective, a shift in attitude, a shift in lifestyle. But I never say you need to stop doing this or you need to start doing this.

If you’d like to listen to the “They Think YOU’RE the Expert! Now what?” podcast from the Beyond the Reiki Gateway, please click here.

Resources:

Andrea’s Videos:

• Building Confidence and Trusting Intuition
• Intuitive Reiki

Kathleen’s Articles:

• Roots and Wings – The Role of the Reiki Teacher – Part 1 of 3 – Reiki Rays
• The Reiki Path – Accept and Trust – Reiki Rays

Connect with Kathleen and Andrea:
Website: www.beyondthereikigateway.com
Kathleen’s Website: universoulheart.net
Andrea’s Website: www.mainstreamreiki.com
Support the show: https://ko-fi.com/beyondthereikigateway