We tend to focus on what we don’t like. Almost all of us would love to wipe off memories that are painful, memories of rejection, humiliation, abandonment, and whatnot. And doing so sets us free, right? Letting go of the sticky thoughts in our head creates the space for more light to come in.
But what about our good memories? Why would we ever want to get rid of that?
Before we get into that, let us remember what it means to be present. When we are present, our perceptions of the present are untainted by our experiences of the past. If this past was bad, it means that when the spouse leaves his socks on the floor again, we are responding to that moment alone, and not the 500 other times he has already done this. If this past was good, it means we are not comparing the current vacation to the excellent previous one.
Good memories hold us back in many ways. It creates the space for comparisons, where we reject the current moment, person or experience because it doesn’t match up to a past experience. When the contrast gets too stark, we can reject the present altogether and be lost in reminiscing the past. But good memories can have a far more damaging effect as well. Frequently those who tend to hold on to the good memories, forget the price they had to pay for the short-sighted choices they made, remembering the highs and forgetting the lows. This creates a pattern of repetitive bad life decisions.
Ultimately, if a past event still triggers an emotional reaction, it doesn’t matter if it is a positive or a negative reaction, it holds us back from being fully present, and needs to be healed. In my experience, good memories are far heavier baggage than bad memories, because we are willing to pay to get rid of our bad memories, but we resist leaving good memories behind even when we know it is good for us.
What we can do about this:
The state of abundance is not one full of excitement and ecstasy, but one of stillness and being in the flow, completely present, completely relaxed. Once we realise this, it becomes obvious that happy memories are holding us back, because they create the same tension in our bodies that sad memories do. The only difference is that with bad memories we’re holding on to the pain of the experience, and with good memories we’re holding on to the pain of those good times having ended or never returned.
Releasing it, counter-intuitively, actually creates the opening for us to experience that same level of joy for much smaller things. So, here’s a little exercise that you can do to release your past emotional blocks.
Sit down with a pen and some paper and write down the answers to these questions.
- If there’s a moment from the past that you could relive again, what would it be?
- Is there someone who has moved on that you miss? What is your best memory with them?
- What is the best meal you’ve had?
- What is the best romantic moment you’ve had?
- What is your favorite carefree memory, where you had absolutely nothing to worry about?
These are only a few questions to get you started, you can keep going. Healing these is really easy if you practice Reiki level 2 or above, or EFT or EMDR. If you know none of these, simply relive these moments with awareness of your feelings, maybe even with an age regression meditation. The awareness changes things and kick-starts an automatic healing process. If you do this before bedtime, then your subconscious mind can continue the healing throughout the night.
Article by Ashwita Goel, Reiki Master
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Having learned Meditation as a child, Ashwita incorporated Reiki into her life during her early teens. After a decade of witnessing the magic Reiki, she felt compelled to take up Reiki professionally, and ended her corporate career in 2007, taking up Reiki full-time. She eventually incorporated EFT, hypnotherapy and past life therapy into her work. Apart from her healing work, she teaches Reiki and meditation, and her book ‘Healing Through Reiki’ is available on Amazon. She holds regular full moon and new moon meditations at @AshwitaGoel. Her website is www.reiki-bangalore.com and her blog www.ashwita.com