Social media: From Energy Drain to Energy Gain

This article is based on Beyond the Reiki Gateway’s podcast “Social media: From Energy Drain to Energy Gain” created by Reiki Masters Kathleen Johnson and Andrea Kennedy.

Kathleen Johnson:
Hello and welcome to another episode of Beyond the Reiki Gateway! This is Kathleen Johnson with my co-host, Andrea Kennedy and today’s episode is all about the trap of social media.

Social media is a pervasive presence in our lives, as I’m sure you all know and it feels as if we are groomed to believe that we need it, that we need it to be complete, that we need it to fit in and that we need it to prove our worth.

Andrea and I will be talking about these topics today and unpacking some of the issues surrounding social media and how we can rise above them in today’s society.

Andrea Kennedy:
I’m excited to talk to everyone about this today and especially you, Kathleen, because right now we’re having different experiences with social media, so it’ll be fun to compare and contrast that. The topic though is so huge. If you really think about it and I like what you said about our worth. So many of us feel like our worth depends on how many likes we get, how many views we get, whatever it might be, how many followers on Instagram, things like that.

It can really be so damaging, but I know for myself, social media has changed so much. I mean, many years ago when I first got on Facebook, it was a whole new thing and I was so excited that the world was coming together in a place that our community was really expanding in a global way. Because in my heart, I know that is important for us to come together for humanity to heal and to grow and evolve together and solve many of the world’s problems.

So when Facebook first started and I saw this global community coming together, I just thought, ah, this is what we need for all the positive stuff that I just mentioned. And now today I reflect on that. And I just don’t know where we are with it anymore. And it can be pretty difficult. I know for me to be on social media, I’ve had a lot of tossing and turning some nights about what goes on social media.

And I’m sure we’ll get into all of that, but I also get questions from students about their business, perhaps Reiki business, or maybe they’re getting into a different modality. But they’ll ask me, what social media do I need to do to help my business? That’s a whole another offshoot of the topic, but I think it’s also important to bring that up. What do we think is important for social media and how is it actually needed for success for business?

Balance and awareness are key

Kathleen Johnson:
You bring up a good point, Andrea, about the business aspect of social media, and I think for me, at least, what we need to keep in mind as we are embarking on our social media path, if we have a business is balance, we need to keep that in mind. I refer to the trap of social media at the beginning, and yes, it can be a trap.

And the key words there are… I think it’s important as business owners, when we’re on social media, to maintain a balance and even more importantly, an awareness of where we’re at with social media. Is it something that we are using to improve ourselves, to help our business, to raise awareness among the people we’re trying to reach? Or it is something that is controlling us? And I think we really need to keep that in mind. Balance is key, you know that, awareness is key.

Andrea Kennedy:
That’s absolutely right on, Kathleen! As far as I’m concerned, it’s a tool. It’s a tool a business can use for success. But you have to understand what the tool is good for, what your goals are, what you’re trying to accomplish. And you need to have that balance, like you just said. So it’s all about that perspective. And everything has a trade.

If we’re going to be on social media, for example, that time is time you’re not spending with your clients or time that you’re not spending investing in other areas of your business development. So there’s always some sort of price for any activity, any tool we might use for our business. But we just gotta stay present and we’ve got to keep our eye on what our goals are and do the extent of investment that makes sense and feels good to us.

Kathleen Johnson:
Exactly. That’s what’s so important. And as you said, everything is a trade off, everything, and you mentioned time spent on social media is time that you could devote to clients or even to your family. And if you allow that balance to get away from you, and you start to lose sight of the awareness that you’re putting into social media, that’s when you can really go down a rabbit hole and it can become a problem.

Are you sure you need more followers, more likes?

What I have found in the years that I was on social media is that it seems to be even more difficult for people who are in the healing professions. I’m going to classify Reiki practitioners in that, people who are intuitive, people who are empathic, those who are highly sensitive. It appears to be much more difficult to navigate social media for people like that. I identify among that group, I’m a Reiki practitioner, I’m also highly sensitive, empathic and intuitive. So I’ve checked all those boxes. I know for me, social media became very difficult to continue with.

Does it feel empty and hollow?

Now I do recognize my responsibility in that and just as we were talking about a moment ago, I lost my balance in social media, if you will. I bought into the whole thing that I needed to be getting more followers, getting more likes, getting more content, always producing in order to be successful. But that was just a lie I was telling myself. At the end of the day, it felt very hollow. And it felt very empty. So, I realized that I needed to take a few steps back in order to be who I wanted to be for my clients and my family and for my friends.

And once I did that, I was able to kind of get more of a clear-eyed view of social media and how it does affect our lives and what we can do about it. Now Andrea, I would venture to say that in many ways you’re similar to me, because you’re intuitive, you’re empathic, you’re sensitive. How do you manage social media now?

Andrea Kennedy:
It took me a while to set some boundaries that really worked for me, but I had to go through quite a bit of distress, quite honestly, for me to get serious and to set those boundaries. What I’ll share is that in the beginning, as I mentioned, when I first was on Facebook, what a different experience it was back then. I remember I used to plant corn and have my little farm on Farmville. And that was what I did on Facebook. And I would talk with family members and I just thought it was great. I would share my little photos and harvest my crops on the game.

The whole vibration of social media has completely changed

It’s completely different now. Their whole vibration to me up social media is just really not fun now. Don’t get me wrong, there are a lot of wonderful people on social media. I’ve met so many beautiful people through social media. I can connect with some of them and I really do appreciate those connections. But over the past couple of years, especially with the misinformation out there and the divide, I guess I’ll just refer to it in that way.

A lot of polls that I would see were very difficult to swallow, I guess, or to just sit still with. And I found myself increasingly wanting to talk back to the pollster. I have a real aversion to presenting falsehoods as truth. I’m very into factual information, truth and that kind of thing. And much of what I would see, I would get upset about, largely because I felt that they were misleading or just untrue.

Lean to set your boundaries, learn to let go

And so I had a big internal conflict. How do I just let that go? In the early days, I would maybe put a comment with a link that explained why that wasn’t true. And you know, that never really goes over very well. What I learned from my son, he was a teenager at the time, I remember I was stewing about something a family member actually posted and I was in a quandary. I didn’t know what to do. My son leaned over and he said “say nothing.” I said, ah, but how do I say nothing? I have to respond. And he said, “mom, just leave it.” I’ll never forget that.

And that was the beginning of my boundary. And my boundary right now is if I have a need of emotional reaction. I am aware, like you mentioned, this awareness, I get aware that I’m having the emotional need of reaction. And I’m already formulating that response in my head that I want to put down. And what I end up doing is I hear his words and I say, oh no, I’m gonna just scroll on by, just going to scroll on by and I do that and I would invite anyone who find themselves in a similar position. The hardest thing to do is to scroll by, and therefore maybe that’s an indication that it’s the best thing. Maybe it’s the best choice.

And since I started doing that, I can’t tell you how much better I feel. And what that does is it frees me up to again use social media as the tool I want it to be for my message and for my business, of course. But for the things I want to put out, I go back to that old idea about instead of complaining about what you don’t like, celebrate and talk about what you do like, what is that you love? Just talk about that, then that becomes your focus and what you focus on expands and becomes bigger. Instead of falling down that rabbit hole, so to speak, I just really try to be aware and then make that choice to keep my message where I want it to be.

Kathleen Johnson:
That’s wonderful, and it sounds like you’ve managed to find that balance, which is absolutely important when we’re working with social media, especially if you happen to be intuitive or empathic or highly sensitive. Your journey with social media is a lot different than mine. And it’s funny, because we all sort of ended up in the same place, but I remember Facebook when it started, my oldest son was starting out of college and Facebook was brand new then. It was designed for college students to get to know each other. And it was only available to college students. That was 10-12 years ago. And here we are. It’s hard to believe, it feels like it’s always been a part of our lives.

Because it has really taken over in so many ways. I was one of the late comers to social media, even after I started my business, I wasn’t on social media for a couple of years until a client said, you know, you really ought to get onto Facebook and I resisted. But eventually I did, of course. I was on Facebook and Instagram and Pinterest and LinkedIn and all the big names. At first it was fine. I was having fun with it, as you described. I wasn’t growing corn.

I was on it mostly for – although that’s not a bad thing to do – I was doing it mostly to promote my business, stay in touch with family and that kind of thing. And it was fine for a while. I really enjoyed it. I found that I was better because of it. It was a good thing, but as you said, it started to shift. There was a point where it just took a left turn and went into areas that I just didn’t feel comfortable.

Andrea Kennedy:
Can you recall what that was? Because as you’re saying that about there was a shift with it. Yeah, that really resonates with me. Obviously there was a shift. But can you recall what that was or when that was?

How social media become toxic

Kathleen Johnson:
I would say several years ago. It started to take a turn where I started to notice that people were posting a lot more pictures of their families, their lives, what I consider the minutia of their lives. It’s like a daily diary of what they were doing. And along that time, I also started to notice the arrival of influencers on social media. Those folks or those concepts that seem to attract a large following, and seemed to have a lot of influence, hence the name, upon the people who followed them.

And it was then that I began to feel a very different energy from social media. It started then, I believe. And different TV shows were being depicted on social media, the people in the shows, especially reality TV. And it was about that time where I began to feel the difference, energetically. There are all these people now who call themselves influencers and it feels so empty and so hollow to me because at the end of the day, having a 1.000.000 likes and followers, what does that give you? You’re still alone at the end of the day; there is no substance to it. And I think that is where social media began to lose its way in a sense. And I know that’s where I started to lose my way with it.

Then I started to notice that there were more negative posts coming out. There was a sense of competition among people. Who has the cutest kids? Who wears the nicest clothes? Who prepares the best meals for their family? Who has the most fun vacations? Those kinds of things on and on and on. And as someone who’s not terribly competitive, naturally, I’ve just never felt the need to be the best or number one or the winner of everything. I found this a little bit disheartening that I was seeing this so much on social media, but ok, fine.

Andrea Kennedy:
Something that comes to mind when you explain it that way. Back in the early days of Facebook, I don’t really remember the ads so much. But as Facebook started to gain steam, the ads became more and more pronounced. And then talking about the influencer thing, we’ll see that’s money driven too, because these people want to get all the free products or whatever it is, you know, sent to them, and all of that, it almost seems like when money became more of a factor injected into social media, where people started figuring out how they could monetize social media. I think maybe that has something to do with the shift with it.

Kathleen Johnson:
I think so too. I had not considered the advertising aspect until you mentioned it, but you’re right. Advertising is a huge part of social media now, but it was not when it started, it was free. When Facebook started, they advertised themselves as always free, always will be or something to that effect. I think they still do. But that’s a little bit misleading nowadays, because they make so much money from their ads.

And I do think that the arrival of that aspect into social media was also a turning point, because a lot of these influencers, this is how they make their living by having all these followers and getting free products and getting sponsorships. I just think that was an unhealthy element to inject into social media and I think it created a lot of misery for a lot of people. That’s when I started to feel that it was sort of going off the rails, if you will.

Slowly, social media has turned into a competition of fakery.

Andrea Kennedy:
I would really categorize that as fakery, what I remember, those little farm games and all of that early on and the innocent little family pictures. Wow, it’s worlds apart from where we are now. And even as you mentioned, even the vacation photos and whatever started to become more fake, people started putting on the show, as so to speak, and sharing only those photos with their quote unquote friends on Facebook. But they would just show the highlight. Reel and the day-to-day drudgery, the moments where they’re pulling their hair out, the moments that they’re unfulfilled, unhappy having a difficult day, never made the cut.

So instead of seeing real life of these people, I think we’ve been perpetuating a fakery. This idea of only showing the highlights can really make us feel less when we compare ourselves to that. And that doesn’t feel good, it’s oh, they went on a Disney cruise for 14 days. I went camping for 3 days and I might have loved that camping trip. But wow, it’s not really post worthy. Theirs is. Then I think we start measuring ourselves, comparing ourselves with other people. I know that I’ve read that social media really can have negative effects on mental wellness and even causing depression.

Kathleen Johnson:
Oh, absolutely. I have read many articles about that. I have a rather strong background in psychology. So this is something that is of great interest to me. What you said about the fakery is spot on. Of course, when we’re seeing all these lovely photos, the vacation photos, the new home photos, the new car photos, the designer dog photos, whatever. And then we compare it to our lives and we do, we’re human. So we see something like that. And we know that we shouldn’t compare, but we do because we’re human. Then we start to feel that we just aren’t as good because we don’t have a great vacation, the new car, the perfect kids or whatever. And it can really lead to a downward spiral.

They can create depression, they can create anxiety, and worse, people really can go off the deep end, because of the fakery on social media. It is a problem. I believe it was Teddy Roosevelt who said, comparison is the thief of joy. And that quote has always stuck with me because it is so true, the moment we start holding ourselves up to someone else’s accomplishments, whether real or imagined, we are depriving ourselves of joy.

Andrea Kennedy:
I love that quote. I’m going to write that down for sure. I just absolutely love it. Thank you for sharing it and to take it one step further, even more insidiously, I think. Not only are we comparing ourselves to the other people and what they’re putting out. I know for me, I compare myself to what I’ve put out. For example, when we are doing social media for business, then we create posts and then we get engagement and that kind of thing. At least that’s what we would like to have. And then guess what, that day is gone and you need new content now.

So you better come up with some new so you can post it and then hope you get the reactions again the next day. And this is a cycle that just keeps going day after day after day. And after you post for a while, then you can look at statistics about your posts and how they performed. And you know, if you want to delve into the statistics of social media posts, you could just get a PhD probably in how to look at all that stuff. It’s very overwhelming.

How everything turned into a toxic race for statistics

I don’t look at it much, but everybody I think, to put in simple terms once an increase in their engagement. Especially if it’s about business, if they’re trying to build their business, if they put out a post today, then they’re going to compare it to, oh is that better than I did yesterday? Is that better than I did last week? So on and so forth. And so there’s competition out there. But man, there’s a lot of competition just with yourself and this drive that you always have to create new content. You’re only as good as your last post and it’s a hamster wheel that just never stops.

Kathleen Johnson:
And that’s such a great point. So we are comparing ourselves to others, which is bad enough. But as you said, we’re comparing ourselves to ourselves and especially with social media, because it is a daily obligation. Especially if you have a business and you are promoting it or you have the social media presence for your business. Every day you feel like you need to produce content, the engagement, the likes, the followers. But the thing is it still feels empty. Because after you’ve spent several hours on social media doing all those things, it’s like eating a fast-food meal, it’s empty calories. There’s no true value in it. What is the value?

And then the next day, you’re doing it all over again, because that’s what you need to do, or at least that’s what we tell ourselves. It just becomes, as you said, like the hamster wheel. And it’s so unhealthy, I really think it’s time for us to begin taking a look at how we interact with social media and make any changes, so perhaps we can get off that hamster wheel. I know I did. I know, Andrea, we’ve talked about this many times. I finally became so disenchanted with the social media that I said no more.

Have you reached the breaking point? Stop now.

And I stopped using social media in June of last year, June of 2020 because I was spending so much time and feeling so overwhelmed by what I considered to be the obligations and the requirements to maintain my business profile and my business followers, whatever my business presence, I couldn’t keep up with it anymore. I was drained, I was exhausted. I was responding very negatively and unhealthily to what I perceived as so much of the negativity on Facebook. I’m using Facebook in particular, because that’s the one that really got to me eventually.

I found that I was feeling unwell, my physical health was suffering, I felt tired, I couldn’t sleep well. My mental health was suffering. I felt anxious and depressed. And how can I make this better? And I would always go back to you just have to do more. I knew that wasn’t the right answer. But I pursued that for a while until one day, it was like, wait a minute. I woke up, I think Reiki sort of knocked me upside the head and said no, no, this is not how you promote a Reiki business by driving yourself into the ground.

I just woke up one day and said, all right, I’m done. That was nine months ago, June of 2020. I am rarely on Facebook right now, only if I absolutely need to post something on my page, then I’m off again. Honestly, I can say that my business still thrives. I am not sorry that I did it, but I will say this. I light what you said earlier about focusing on the things that renew pleasure, that work for you, that make you feel good. I’ve been considering that in my own life, thinking that ok, I’m starting to get the feeling that I’d like to venture back into social media, but with a big difference. And that difference would be that I would focus on the things that bring me joy and bring me peace and interactions with people with whom I want to interact.

Still want to use social media, but in a healthier way? Set your firm boundaries!

And so, I’m starting to get to that place where I’m going to go back to social media, I think. But with my boundaries very firmly in place, and that goes back again to what we were saying earlier about balance. It’s so easy to become derailed on social media. Speaking as someone to whom that’s happened, I’m here to tell you it’s very easy. We have to be very much on guard and vigilant about how we use social media and not let it use us.

Andrea Kennedy:
I concur because it is a tool. I’m grateful for social media. I am grateful for YouTube and how well that’s gone for me. And my focus though, I have to say it, especially if I look at YouTube, my focus is on my offering while I hope people like it, while I hope people resonate with what I put out there, it makes me feel good to put that energy into that platform for my videos. I enjoy making the videos. I enjoy editing the videos, okay, most of the time, but it’s a big commitment. It’s a long time. It’s not just like throwing a post on Facebook. It takes an effort on my part, but I have to say, I really enjoy it.

My message is if you enjoy the creative process of your posting and what you offer out there on these platforms, then that’s wonderful. It is useful in building a business and attracting clients and students. I just would suggest that we don’t over emphasize social media and lose sight of why you want to be in business in the first place. Get back to basics. And if social media fits into that, then great, but the balance, again, we’re just going to say balance, probably 100 times at least, Kathleen.

Kathleen Johnson:
At least I’m a big fan of balance anyway. And this is something I talk about pretty often. And I think it’s nowhere more important than it is on social media. What you’ve talked about, Andrea, with your videos, really resonates because as you’re saying those words, I’m thinking yes, but she’s providing something of value. Your videos are well done, they’re very professional. And they provide a value and a service to those who watch them. It’s not like your social, not you. But Social media posts where people are fighting on social media about this, that, the other…

Create value, not controversy. Uplift people, don’t bring them down.

Kathleen Johnson:
That is devoid of value in my book, that has zero redeeming qualities, zero. And it’s the kind of thing that can bring you down quicker than a lot of things. The way you approach social media is you’re creating something of value. And when I was on social media actively and posting every day on my site, I too was creating something of value. At least I believed it to be. I was not just throwing things on there and hoping that somebody would say, oh, I like that. I thought I was helping my followers maybe see a different perspective, maybe helping them learn something they didn’t know before, maybe giving them a chuckle. Even something like a funny post that maybe make them smile when they’re having a bad day.

My goal was always to provide something of value and not to tear anything or anyone down. I think that’s the difference. Once I do venture back into social media, I am going to be very vigilant about that. I’m going to focus on that, which is good and wholesome and healthy for me and not focus at all on the things that are not wholesome and healthy for me.

Andrea Kennedy:
Very smart and tuned in, I would say Kathleen, thank you too for your kind words about what I’m doing over there, but it makes me compare and contrast in my thinking here. What I am referring to is there’s such a current on social media that isn’t focused on positive or putting out helpful information or suggestions and that is so disheartening for me to see people posting things that are divisive, that tear people down, that are trying to prove their righteousness in whatever it might be.

I think it’s so important for us to not only be very clear on the energy that we’re sending out through our posts, through our pages. We need to be responsible and if we want to see and feel and know more light in this world, who’s going to put it out there? It’s people like us. And if we all left social media, then what would it descend into? Well, I totally get why you left, I think it’s beautiful. I’d have people in my family that have completely left social media too. But I’m excited for the day that you come back a little bit because…

Kathleen Johnson:
Thank you.

Andrea Kennedy:
You’re a light. You’re welcome. You have positivity to offer. As I said, it is disheartening to me to see so much of the negativity out there and I don’t mean influencers and things like that. But again, this vibration of people fighting and saying that they’re right and you’re wrong and name calling and all of that. Because I have to believe that those sort of people in real life, if I met them, they wouldn’t do that. In real life if we were face to face, wouldn’t they filter themselves, wouldn’t they put a smile on? Wouldn’t they, at least I would hope, you know…

Kathleen Johnson:
I hope so.

Be aware that social media distorts normal human relations

Andrea Kennedy:
Just be friendly a little bit? But on social media, there’s just this weird atmosphere where people just let it rip and act in ways that are downright cruel to others, or at least they can be. And all I’m saying is, I don’t think it’s a real true representation of how we would interact as individuals, if we came together socially. I see that as a negative about the social media space that people perhaps don’t use those good social filters. They don’t police themselves and monitor with awareness how they’re coming across.

Kathleen Johnson:
Oh, yes, absolutely. People, not all people, you know, too many, I think, do not filter their comments or think about what they put out there. The anonymity of social media – because a lot of times you don’t know who these folks are – the anonymity of social media is an invitation to let our worst instincts fly. Ok, like you said, let it rip and that’s not healthy either, because as you said, if we were to meet these people, the chances are – I would certainly hope so, anyway – chances are that it would be a very different kind of encounter.

But when they are on social media, they don’t feel those social constraints. There’s none of that social pressure to be at least kind, at least pleasant, I guess, polite, civil. Those things just disappear on social media. Then you have the arguments, the mud throwing, the insults. It’s so disheartening, as you said, and that was pretty much what drove me away from social media.

The energy of social media can be unbearable

The energy of it was almost unbearable for me, and I’m not placing any blame for that. I take full responsibility for that happening to me because although I didn’t make any of those comments, I don’t do those kinds of things, but I would read them. I would read them and like you, as you mentioned early on, there were times when I really wanted to say something. So like you, I would try to say something factual and maybe post the link, as you know, that goes nowhere fast. But I kept trying.

Andrea Kennedy:
Yeah.

Kathleen Johnson:
Oh, I’ll win them over, I know I will.

Andrea Kennedy:
Yeah, yeah.

Kathleen Johnson:
And of course I didn’t. So I take full responsibility for that. I brought it on myself. But now in retrospect, more than nine months into my self-imposed social media isolation. I can look back.

Andrea Kennedy:
Sobriety.

Kathleen Johnson:
Sobriety. Yes, yes, I’ve been perfectly sober. I realized that I learned a lesson, I think Reiki and Spirit. This was a huge lesson for me to learn and it goes back to what we talked about in our previous episode, Andrea, we talked about responsibility, right? We can’t fix anybody, we talked about this.

Andrea Kennedy:
Right. Yeah.

Kathleen Johnson:
And that goes out for people on social media. If they’re engaged in a verbal battle, in insults and mudslinging, what have you, who am I to wade into the middle of that and try to clear it up? It is not my responsibility. It is their responsibility. And if they choose to continue that, there is nothing I can do about it, that is their choice, that is their path. That was a lesson for me to learn. As I mentioned in our previous episode, it was a hard lesson for me.

And clearly, I haven’t entirely learned it because I’m still doing those kinds of things, we’re trying to patch things up on social media, just brought me to the brink of a mental breakdown. And I just finally said no, enough, but I’ve learned now. So like you, when the time comes and I’m sure it will be when… not if, but when the time comes, I am going to be focused on those areas that bring joy and happiness and peace. And if I encounter anything that doesn’t, I’m just going to scroll on by.

Being a lighthouse does not mean you are responsible for the ships course

Andrea Kennedy:
It’s hard, it is hard. It also reminded me what you just said about that last episode. My thing about the lighthouse. So I didn’t even make that connection until you were talking. And oh yeah, I guess I’m trying to do the lighthouse in my approach to social media now, which is I’m just trying to shine light and if people pass the light by and fall over the cliff in the waterfall, so be it. That’s all I can do. And we have to just let it go. It is hard.

My other little rule that I have, but I do break this sometimes. I’m usually sorry, but my rule is don’t read the comments. Once you open the little comment thread on the bottom and then you start reading a couple. Oh my goodness. It’s hard for me to get out of it. And I can really watch myself as I tends-up, as I start reacting emotionally, I can feel the difference. And it’s when we have that awareness, ah, do you see what you’re doing here? You’re aware. So now you’re on the hook. Are you going to keep reading those? Are you going to back away? And its awareness, is the key in everything.

Be aware of what you feel in your body and mind

Kathleen Johnson:
Absolutely. And like you, the comments were a magnet for me. I was almost always sorry that I did. Because the initial post that I read was a clear enough indication of what the comments were likely to be, yet I decided to wait in and let’s see for myself. I had to become more aware of how that felt in my body and in my mind, how I was feeling like you, I could feel this sensation in my solar plexus. It was almost that sinking feeling, like when I was starting to go too far. And I could feel the anxiety rising from my solar plexus. And that’s when I knew ok time to close this out and move on to something that makes me feel good.

I finally learnt that after failing to learn it for far too long. That is the trap of social media. It’s a tool, it’s a tool like anything else, but it becomes so much more than that. If we allow it to control us, as opposed to us controlling and using the tool, we are meant to use tools for our benefit and not allow them to use us to create havoc and destruction. I think we need to be aware of and we need to maintain that balance when we are involved with social media.

Use social media, don’t be used by it!

And there’s no question if you’re starting a business of any kind, especially a Reiki business or any sort of holistic healing endeavor. Social media can be a huge help. Honestly, I have met so many wonderful, wonderful souls that I would very likely never have met without social media. I am grateful for that. That’s when I was using it as a tool and not allowing it to use me. It was when I sort of went over to the other side, if you will. When I went over to the dark side, where I waded into waters I had no business being in, that’s when it became a problem.

Because social media has been wonderful for my business. I’m truly, truly so grateful for that, especially in this day and age. Social media helped me a great deal in the early days, and I think if there’s anyone out there listening, considering starting a business or if they have one wondering if they should get a Facebook page or LinkedIn or whatever. I would absolutely encourage you to do that. My only cardiac would be just remain aware and be sure to use social media as the tool it is and don’t allow yourself to be used by it.

Andrea Kennedy:
I’d also add to that, too, pick two or three platforms when you’re starting and that’s it. You don’t have to be on everything. There’s a new thing now, Clubhouse. And I don’t know, I have mixed feelings about that and I’ve got some Reiki friends who have moved over to Clubhouse. I got an invite and it’s making it all exclusive, like you have to get invited to join and the whole thing. So it’s all a game, right? It’s all a game. But I’m considering just trying that out. Now, it doesn’t mean I’m going to dive in, you know, hook, line and sinker on it, and that’s going to be my new thing.

How to choose your social media platforms

But I think, especially someone trying to promote a business, there’s so many things you need to devote your time to doing. Social media is just one slice of that pie. So make informed choices, really think about which ones are the best fit for you and what your business is, where are your potential clients hanging out? If you’re going to be on a platform and it’s just mainly other people offering your same service, that might not be the best place. You need the clientele, not other people in your same line of work.

Decide what platforms would be most advantageous for your business. Again, pick two or three at the most and then set those up, utilize those, and then see where your return on your investment is. If your Facebook page is really taking off, then perhaps you spend more of your time there and less on other platforms. If one doesn’t really seem to be working and perhaps you don’t like even being on that one as much, then go ahead and scrap it. There’s plenty of platforms out there for you to choose. So you can use your time wisely and get that return on that time investment.

Be aware that each social media platform has its own energy

Kathleen Johnson:
Excellent advice, Andrea, very practical and very helpful. Also, I think it’s important to see what works for you energetically. What platforms speak to you energetically. If you’re working in a healing profession, if you’re a Reiki person or a Crystal person, or a Past Life person, or what have you, what is working with you energetically? It’s so important for us to put our energies in places that seem to be compatible and healthy. And each social media platform has its own energy.

My favorite platform is Pinterest. I love Pinterest. The energy of it is just fun. That’s the reason I’m not on Twitter and enough said about that. But no offense to those of you who are on Twitter, because I know it’s hugely popular, but energetically it is not a good fit for me. It never has been. So I think in addition to the practical advice which is super important, I think it is about where do you want to put your energies and what is the best fit for you?

Andrea Kennedy:
Yeah, Facebook has been really good for me. I think for a couple reasons that I’ll share. Number one, being a Reiki practitioner and teacher, the majority of my clientele and students are a little bit older, so Facebook is a fit for that. That’s the audience there. I also like Facebook because the posts have a little bit of staying power, which always confuse me about Instagram. And maybe I’m totally wrong about this. I’ve just had such a hard time driving with Instagram.

It just seems that I post on Instagram and then it’s pretty much one and done, gone. Then it’s like, where did it ever go? But at least with Facebook, there’s a wall there and I don’t know… There’s something about that structure that drives more with me than Instagram. I’m trying to get better on Instagram. I certainly am, but yeah, every platform does have a feel to it. That’s a great point.

Kathleen Johnson:
And your description of Instagram drives that point home. I like Instagram because I don’t know why, I just like the way it feels. I feel that the energy of it, at least when I use it, the energy of it is much more accepting than I often feel on Facebook. But this really just goes to the point I was trying to make of what you said. Instagram is sort of meh for you. Facebook is your preferred social media platform. If you’re starting out a business, or you’re considering adding social media to your business, see what jives with you, energetically.

I think Andrea’s advice as to limiting at two or three is spot on. It’s excellent advice, because there is no shortage of platforms out there. And if you have five or six, that’s five or six more things you have to think about every single day. And that can get old really fast. And before I move away from this, Andrea, I’ve got to say, I’m a little jealous of you got invited to Clubhouse. I didn’t, nobody invited me.

Andrea Kennedy:
You didn’t?

Kathleen Johnson:
No.

Andrea Kennedy:
Oh, I think I have a couple of invites.

Kathleen Johnson:
Oh my!

Remember to enjoy what you are doing

Andrea Kennedy:
So if you would like one, I have no idea the value of it or anything, but, you know, going back to my point though, I am going to explore it a little bit. Then I’m going to have to look at where I spend my time and decide where am I going to pull back or something, because especially business owners just starting, there seems to be a lack of limiting ourselves because we want the success. So we just keep thinking, oh, well, I gotta do more and more and more, you know what, you only have 100 percent to give. And that’s got to go to family. It’s got to go to self-care. It’s got to go to life, let alone your business.

So every little bit of time and energy that you put out there, it’s being debited from your reserve. And you get that every single day. And you need to just choose wisely. And remember, if you take on a new project, it isn’t about not pulling back somewhere else. You only have so much of you to go around and if you get burned out, this isn’t funny anymore. And don’t we all want to be business owners or have a business because we enjoy that line of work. We enjoy that whole sense of freedom of having that for ourselves. And if we don’t enjoy it any more, it just becomes another job.

And I don’t know about you I, I don’t want a job, I’m having a ball right now doing what I’m doing. I am just, like you, thankful for social media, but I’m really thankful that I woke up and quite frankly, grew up and my ability to be realistic with it and see what my limitations needed to be, what my rules needed to become.

Remember: balance, balance and, again, balance!

Kathleen Johnson:
Yes, you’re absolutely right and everything you said goes back to what, balance. It’s about balancing self-care and family and our business, etc, etc. All the responsibilities we carry in this lifetime, we have to have that balance and we have to decide how much of our own energy or personal energy we are going to give to social media at any given time. Again, the balance and awareness really is important. For anybody who’s involved in social media, it becomes even more so, for people who are on the healing professions, or those who are empathic, empaths or highly sensitive. It just cannot be overstated, I think. And ok, so I’m hoping to see you on Clubhouse sometime, Andrea.

Andrea Kennedy:
Alright, we’ll make a date of it. We just have a lot of choices and I think the number of choices we have really does indicate that we need limits for ourselves.

Kathleen Johnson:
Exactly.

Andrea Kennedy:
I mean, there’s no way you could do it all.

Kathleen Johnson:
No.

Andrea Kennedy:
It’s just no way.

Kathleen Johnson:
No, you’re right, you’re right. There’s no way we can do it all and there’s really no way that we should be able to do it all. It’s just too much. It’s too much.

That’s why we have to be very discerning about where we place our energies.

Stay in awareness of what you are broadcasting out there

Andrea Kennedy:
Yeah, I’d like to offer a final idea for our listeners. I actually do this from time to time. I go to my Facebook timeline and I will scroll down and I will pretend like I don’t know me. And I will look at my posts and read what I put out there to get a sense of what it is I’m offering in vibration. And I would invite everybody to do that, because that’s one way to stay in awareness about where we are. And I have found when I do this for myself, there’s been a couple of times… It’s been some time ago that I posted something and I was surprised that when I looked at it, it didn’t really seem to fit with the vibration that I wanted to put out. I deleted those, because they’re living forever out there.

We’re energetically tied to whatever it is that we’re broadcasting. And I think that, going back to that energetic hygiene idea; I want my creations out there in the world to be relevant to who I am today. I want what I put out, whether it’s a year ago or six years ago, whatever it is. I want to be able to stand by that energy today and never regret what I broadcast out in, it is above responsibility. I think for us and I don’t know. I’d invite you to do that.

Kathleen Johnson:
I think that’s a wonderful idea. I haven’t done that myself, but I think it’s a great idea because we’re always changing. We’re not who we were five years ago, ten years ago, maybe not even a week ago. So, it helps to go back through the timeline and see what you put out there. And if there’s anything that is not resonant with who you are now or anything that makes you go, I wonder why I posted that. It would probably be in your best interest to delete those and raise the overall vibration of that page.

Because everything you’re putting out there carries energy, just like everything else does in the universe. Everything is energy. And you want your page to have an uplifting, positive, healthy feel to it. People will naturally be attracted to a page like that, without even really knowing why. You keep the vibration of your page high. And you keep the energy clean, if you will. I know when I was active on my business Facebook page, every morning, I would do a cleansing sort of ritual, clearing out any energy I didn’t want hanging around on that page. And I think it helped, in my mind it did. It can’t hurt. That’s for sure. Yes, I think it’s very important to be aware of the energy on your page. And I think, Andrea, your suggestion is excellent. Thanks for that, Andrea.

Put out a high vibration broadcast

Andrea Kennedy:
Oh, you’re welcome. You’re welcome. And you know what? That’s gonna help you build a business. If you’re worried about how to build your business on social media, put out a high vibration sort of broadcast and then you can sleep at night. You can feel good about what you’re putting out and the right people will find you.

And now appreciate what you’re offering. Social media is certainly a huge topic, there’s so much we could talk about. We hope the tips and ideas that we’ve offered here are valuable to you. Find some resources down in the show notes. So, for now, Kathleen and I will just say thank you for tuning in and until next time.

If you’d like to listen to the “Social media: From Energy Drain to Energy Gain” podcast from the Beyond the Reiki Gateway, please click here.

Connect with Kathleen and Andrea:
Website: www.beyondthereikigateway.com
Kathleen’s Website: universoulheart.net
Andrea’s Website: www.mainstreamreiki.com
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