We all want to be healed at some point of time in life. However, we are not ready to recognize and accept the flaws we have. To heal yourself, you need to start loving yourself and accept the way you are. Self love is a very important yet highly misunderstood concept among people across ages, almost everywhere. Some consider this to be evil, selfish, or even narcissistic. In many countries, serving others first and placing own-self at the end of the priority list considers to be the symbol of being a good and dutiful human being.
I am a new mother and I will share some of my own experiences. Readers may differ to my views which is absolutely fine. I am a healer too though I am sharing my experience to help everyone specially those who are not into healing or may have less understanding on self love.
Long ago, much before than my attunement to Reiki, I was introduced to a Reiki Grandmaster whom I used to visit during his classes which used to be complimentary. In one of his classes, he asked all the mothers whom they love the most. Almost all the mothers replied uniformly, their children. That sounds so normal. In fact, that’s normal. That was the day; the Reiki Grandmaster told us why it’s important to put ourselves first before loving anyone else. It’s not selfish.
In the journey of motherhood, most of the mothers become so overwhelmed and occupied with the wellbeing of the little one that they totally forget to take care of themselves. Their sleep pattern gets disturbed, their food habits change, their hobbies and interests take a backseat. Many of them don’t even take five minutes to sit and relax. It is so common. It happened to me too. However, one day I found myself really frustrated. I was thinking where is the ‘me time’! I am exhausted taking care of kid, home, everything but me.
To this thought or complain, people told me that it’s normal to have absolutely no ‘me time’ for a mother as her duty is to devote all her time, energy and everything into the kid. So what energy a frustrated mother transfers to her kid? This made me think quite deeply. Why only mothers, what energy anyone gives to others if he or she is completely drained?
It’s very important to keep yourself happy, hale and hearty. How can you pour from an empty cup? Can one irritated, dissatisfied, frustrated mom pour pure love to the child? Sometime or the other taking care of the child may seem like a burden – either consciously or in your subconscious mind. It is bound to happen. There is no question of unconditional love of a mother towards her child but not without taking care of own self first. It may come across very surprising or shocking to many but kids are pure and very quick to pick up energies from the surrounding. So your disturbed energies cannot be hidden from them. And if you observe, you will see a reflection of your not so happy self in them. Do you wish to see them picking up your broken pieces? I am sure, no parent would want that.
Self love doesn’t always mean only focusing on yourself forgetting or ignoring the world around you. It doesn’t mean hitting the gym regularly or having some particular diet. It means being you, allowing yourself to breathe, allowing yourself to love and accept yourself the way you are. Most importantly, allowing yourself to listen to your heart. It means giving yourself the priority you deserve. Once you start doing it, everything else will fall in place.
There are some simple and doable steps to start with; you can give them a try.
- Tried and tested method by Louise Hay, look at the mirror, and look into your eyes and say “(XYZ –Your name) I Love You” and say it with conviction and passion. Say it as many times as you can and every time you see a mirror. You will realize how beautiful you are, how lovable you are.
- Create a boundary around you! Yes, it’s very important. There will always be people with opinions which may make you feel anything less, stressed, guilty or de-motivated. However, trust that you are stronger than you believe. Be polite yet firm to tell them that you don’t appreciate their way you treating you or telling you ill or anything less than you are. Those people are struggling with their void, let them. You just create a boundary and make it clear that certain behavior or words are not acceptable. You will save many disappointments in this way and save your energy as well.
- Saying NO is crucial. When you set boundaries, you start saying NO. It is not about disrespecting anyone but to respect your-self first. Many of us take more work, more responsibilities because we do not want to disappoint others or want to prove our capabilities to others. In the process, we end up draining ourselves. It is unhealthy and toxic.
- There is no harm in taking a break when you need it. Take 5 minutes break, practice deep breathing. Breathe in – hold – breathe out.
- There is always something therapeutic that helps you loosen up. For example, gardening for some, cooking, petting, walking, dancing – choose yours and do it whenever you get time.
- Enroll yourself in a workshop, a class, or a course that you have been always excited about and which will enhance your knowledge, your experience to the next level.
- Don’t chase people for love. You will receive what you give to yourself. Every relationship that you attract is somehow a reflection of your relationship with yourself. So before expecting anyone else to love you, LOVE YOURSELF.
- Read good books. They are an amazing source of knowledge and entertainment. They will keep you happy and knowledgeable.
- Don’t compare yourself with others. Everyone is walking their own path. Everyone has their share of happiness and struggle. Everyone is exactly at a point where they are supposed to be.
Hope these simple yet effective tips help you start loving yourself a little more with every passing day and attract more love, harmony in your life.
Article by Reiki Master Moumita Rudra
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Moumita is a Reiki Master Teacher, a spiritual healer who practices Usui Reiki, Magnified Healing, Soul Mate Reiki, Tiger Reiki, Deep Healing Reiki, Karuna Reiki, Kundalini Reiki and some more. She is also a tarot and oracle card reader. She offers in online/distance tarot consultation healing, as well in-person consultation. She also communicates with angels and believes that the angels are always around us looking forward to guide anyone who needs it.
Her journey into healing has been magical where she was chosen by Reiki over various situations and gradually revealed beautiful insights of life, spirituality and healing.
She is now a fulltime mother, raising her daughter with love, kindness and compassion with a dream to pass on the beauty of healing to her offspring.
She quit her 12 years long corporate job recently to spend more time with her daughter and doing things that she really loves and enjoys doing. Healing is one of them.
She created her Facebook page The Healing Space by Moumita in 2015 with a dream of spreading more joy, love and awareness. She believes that we all come to this earth to spread love and spiritual awareness can help to spread love.