Article by Ashwini Chubé
What is abandonment?
Abandonment in simple terms means – Feeling disconnected or left behind. The Oxford dictionary defines abandonment as “the act of leaving a person, thing or place with no intention of returning”
Abandonment can be of 2 types:
- Physical Abandonment: Not being there physically for a loved one or loved ones due to distance
- Emotional or mental abandonment: Dismissing, discarding or devaluing someone. Refusing to hear someone or discuss them. Emotionally being unavailable for a loved one
The abandonment wound – Symptoms of the abandonment wound
How do you know you have abandonment wound?
We may not even know we have abandonment wound. We might be blaming ourselves or constantly going in the victim mode saying ‘life is unfair to me’ where in reality it is an abandonment wound.
So following are some symptoms of abandonment wound
- Feeling left out
- Fearful of being alone
- Hates to be alone
- Attract extreme partners: emotionally unavailable partners or narcissistic abusive partners
- People pleasing
- Clingy chasing relationships
- Acting needy in relationships
- Always feels “God is unfair to me”
- Feeling no one loves me
The Extreme of Abandonment Wound and fears associated
Usually, someone who has an abandonment wound may in the most extreme cases have an extreme negative self-talk that may sound like
- “I ‘ll die alone”
- “All my loved ones will leave me or die”
- “I will never be good enough for anyone”
- “People will choose other people over me as I am not good enough”
- “I don’t deserve to be happy”
- “Even If I am good – I won’t get what I want”
- “I ‘ll have to compromise as I am not good enough”
How to heal the wound of abandonment with Reiki and Angels
Now that you have identified your wound let us look step by step at healing it. Healing the wound could take time – may be a few weeks or months or even years. Or it can happen instantly or anywhere in between.
Before you identify the wound
- Sit in a place where you won’t be disturbed
- Take 8-10 deep breaths
- Invoke the presence of Archangel Michael and ask him to shield you against negative energies. Also, ask him to silence your ego
- Ask Archangel Gabriel to help you communicate effectively
- Draw CKR and HSZSN and chant their names three times
- Ask Reiki energy to guide you to ground your energy
- Invoke your guardian angels, spirit guides and Archangel Metatron to help you with this exercise
- You can additionally keep the image of Metatron’s cube in front of you
- Stare at the cube image for a couple of minutes
- Ask yourself to identify that part of you that feels abandoned and say to that part
- I am here for you
- I know you have been feeling alone for a long time – please do not worry I am here to be there with you
- I love you
- I will never abandon you again
- In case you want to share something I am here to hear you
- I am holding a space for you
- It is safe for you to talk to me
You can simply breathe in and listen to what your inner voice says. Listen to that voice. What do you hear? What do you see? Do you see any memories?
Now see them closely:
You might recollect past experiences of being physically or mentally abandoned in childhood or early teenage. Most of the times these experiences are when we are in the age group 0-7 years. At rare times teenage experiences may range in the age group 13-16 years.
- Placed in a daycare after parents go to work and not receiving the love there
- A primary caregiver eg: parent or teacher may have punished you and left you alone (intentionally or unintentionally)
- Divorce or separation of parents
- Parents leaving their child alone to “cry it out” in a crib
- Parents not being there due to work responsibilities
- Death of one of the parents or primary caregivers
- Your childhood best friend may have moved to another city and you felt alone
- Being bullied or made fun of at play as a child
- Not being included/invited in a group to play or for a kids outing/birthday
- Your best friend did not include you to play or become friends with someone else
- Verbally/physically abused or manipulated by someone
- Your secondary caregiver eg: elder sibling or an aunt moved to another town and all of a sudden you felt alone
- Having emotionally unavailable caregivers when you cried or were emotional
……anything else that comes to your mind. Remember you cannot go wrong
After identifying the wound
You may or may not have consciously identified the wound – whatever is the matter, at a subconscious level you have identified it. Now simply let it go.
- Talk to that part of you which feels abandoned (whether consciously or unconsciously) You can say the following affirmations/statements “I know you have been feeling abandoned but the truth is you are never alone. You are always supported by the Universe. No one can abandon you. I am here to be there for you. I ‘ll never leave you and will always love you. You are loved. You deserve love.”
- Take a deep breath. Put a hand over your heart. Ask Reiki energy to guide you to heal the parts of you that feel abandoned. Let the loving energy gently heal you
- Taking help from Archangel Metatron
- With your eyes closed – simply imagine the 3D model of Metatron’s cube. Gently ask Archangel Metatron for his help to help you let go of that wounding. Simply say: “Dear Archangel Metatron please run this cube through me healing all the wounds of abandonment across time, space, dimensions and lifetime that are affecting my life. Thank you”
- Now imagine Archangel Metatron running his cubicle over your entire body and healing every inch of you. Feel all that you feel deeply. Give yourself 5-10 mins.
- Once you are ready, open your eyes.
- Drink a lot of water and do not forget to journal your thoughts and emotions
Note: Remember the whole aim of this exercise is not to blame anyone. Our parents, teachers, caregivers too are primarily human beings going through their own wounding. This exercise is only to help you identify your wounds and deal with it.
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After doing her MBA in finance and working for 8 years in investment banking Ashwini discovered her life purpose and decided to make a choice to be a transformational trainer, life coach, motivational speaker, and a spiritual teacher. She says Reiki helped her find her soul mission.
In 2016 May Ashwini founded Unicorn Insight – a corporate training company. Unicorn Insight trained over 100 people in the first 15 months. Ashwini also founded and runs a recruiting and networking firm – Tree of life. Ashwini has co-founded Urja Wellness and Joy for wellness and all these brands are now part of the Unicorn Group.
Ashwini is a master teacher of Usui Reiki, Violet Flame healing, Angelic healing and is an Access bars facilitator. She has been certified as a trainer by Dale Carnegie. Ashwini is also a mind trainer, an angel card, and tarot reader as well as a teacher and conducts workshops on Reiki, Violet flame, Law of Attraction, Gratitude, Vision Boards and Angels, Unicorns, Dragons, Akashic records and is a certified Fairiologist. She is a regular speaker at HELP talks Mumbai. The Breakthrough workshop is a life-changing workshop where she teaches tools to empower and change your life.
Get in touch with Ashwini through her Website: www.unicorninsight.com or at firstname.lastname@example.org. Her Facebook page is: www.facebook.com/unicorninsight