Article by Darshan.S
We have all had times in our lives when we looked at someone else who has what ‘we want’ in our own lives and felt a tint of envy. More often than not we are envious of people because of who they are and not what they have. We display this in the form of misdirected anger or hostility towards the other person.
This happens because the other person is, in fact, mirroring back to us aspects of our shadow self. And what’s an easier way to deal with this shadow aspect than by dissociating it on another person?
Before moving forward, let me differentiate between being jealous and envious as they are so very often used in similar contexts.
Jealousy is “an emotional reaction to a threat to one’s relationship from a real or imagined romantic rival”. It always involved a third party.
Jealousy is “I have something that I think you want, that I think you are coming after”.
Envy is “a feeling of discontented or resentful longing aroused by someone else’s possessions, qualities or luck”.
Envy is “I want what you have”.
We have internal barometers in our lives by which we gauge where we are versus where we want to be in our lives. As these barometers shifted from internal to external ones that’s when our lives become chaotic.
We gauge how much we have, not by how content we feel but by how much the other person has. We gauge our health not by how fit we feel but by the unrealistic standards and waist sizes set up by magazines and media. Our social quotient is gauged not by how connected we feel to each other but by the number of followers we have on Instagram.
We live our lives in constant comparison to unrealistic and unimportant standards as a result of which we feel miserable and our envy is a reflection of this. It’s a reflection that we are living a life based on external barometers and when we make the shift to gauging life based on our internal barometers that’s when true healing will begin.
“Don’t spend your life doing things that you don’t love, to buy things that you don’t need, to impress people you don’t even like”.
Live your life in a way that makes you happy! Here are a few ways to do that:
- The emotion of envy teaches us to embrace our uniqueness and stop comparing ourselves to other people. It teaches us that we can all harmoniously coexist as long as we guide our needs, wants, and desires based on our internal barometers and not on external factors of lack and insufficiency. The universe is infinite in nature and all of us are not going for the same stuff anyway, there is plenty for everyone.
- The reason we compare ourselves to other people is that we are clueless about where we are in life and what we want out of it. So, we look for these answers in other people and we think that if I have what he/she has I will be happy. We forget that different things make different people happy and what we need to figure out is what will make us happy and figure out a strategy to get there?
- Envy is an emotion of lack. One of the best ways to tackle this emotion is through the practice of gratitude. Gratitude changes our focus from what we don’t have to appreciate what we already do have. It puts us in a state of joy and opens us up to receiving more. Use Reiki to strengthen your connection to this emotion and also to increase its intensity.
- The next time you catch yourself in this emotion ask yourself the following questions:
- What do I want that this person already has?
- How is it going to make me or my life better?
- Am I willing to put in the time and effort to make this possible?
- What is the cost of me achieving this?
Asking these questions will ground you in the present moment and make you think more practically.
Remember to live life on your terms and in ways that make you feel fulfilled and content. Whenever you find the emotion of envy arises in your life, thank it for the message that it has to share with you and embrace the learnings that it offers. Incorporating these learnings into your life will make you feel more at peace with yourself and others around you.
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Darshan is a Reiki healer & teacher, Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist and a Professional Dowser. He owns a Metaphysical Store called “Crystal Alchemy” through which he helps spread awareness about Crystals and other Healing Modalities. You can reach Darshan at www.facebook.com/Crystal.Alchemy.Store, www.facebook.com/TheHealingOcean.