Article by Deborah Lloyd, Reiki Master
It is really difficult to heal the victim mentality, especially when uncontrollable events in your life have made you feel like a victim. Perhaps, you have lived through a major natural catastrophe, like a hurricane or earthquake. Or, a fire or pipe break in your home destroyed many cherished items. You may be living with a chronic medical condition, or longstanding effects of a terrible accident. A spouse or partner may leave you. Certainly, being a victim of physical, emotional or sexual abuse is one of the most difficult circumstances to overcome. The ongoing, subtle, and not-so-subtle, continual, degrading words and actions create patterns of thinking that are difficult to break.
Reiki can be a very effective way to manifest healing in the physical and emotional aspects of these painful circumstances. The calming and loving Reiki energies can bring in the stabilizing balance so needed in problematic situations. For many clients, family and friends, simply experiencing the warm touch of another human being, the Reiki practitioner, is healing. The loving touch, combined with the healing energies, is a powerful experience for people who have had victim experiences.
Underlying the thoughts and feelings of being a victim are several core beliefs. One belief is that “I have no power in my own life.” This feeling of having no choices in what happens in your life can be overwhelming. Working with the Solar Plexus chakra through Reiki can assist a person in discovering her authentic, powerful self.
Another common belief is that “I am not worthy.” I am not worthy of good fortune in my life. I am not worthy of being treated well, or a longstanding, fulfilling relationship. I am not worthy of being loved. This core belief must be changed and healed, in order for anyone to experience true healing. The most powerful healing of Reiki is simply this – you are, and have always been, unconditionally loved. People who experienced years of abuse, especially as children, may require psychotherapy to fully understand, and change, core beliefs. Adding Reiki sessions, while a person is engaging in this kind of work, is very helpful.
The victim mentality can sneak up on all of us, even when there are no major traumatic events in our lives. You may think you cannot speak up at work when a new process is introduced, although you see flaws in the plan. You may hesitate to let your partner know how much the small irritants bother you. You may see your needs and expectations to be less important than someone else’s. You may think you have no choice in these circumstances.
Reiki teaches us we always have choices in our lives. We can choose to live in love or in fear; we can control how we think about past, scary events. We can learn to think differently, and reframe our negative thoughts to positive ways of thinking. Rather than focus on the scary aspects of a hurricane, we can focus on our survival tactics and the fact that all our family members remained safe and secure. We can learn to understand that an abusive parent had not learned how to be loving, and parented us in the way he was parented (not an excuse, but an explanation).
Most importantly, true healing requires us to remember we are always loved unconditionally. Open yourselves to this Divine Love – and victim mentality will disappear. Being reconnected to Divine Love can bring the reassurance and security of knowing “all is well.”
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Deborah Lloyd is a Usui and Karuna® Reiki Master and certified holistic therapy practitioner. She also is a licensed clinical social worker, working with a hospice agency in Asheville, NC. She grew up on a farm in rural Indiana and was stricken with polio at the age of three. To relieve fatigue from post-polio syndrome, she learned Reiki. This complementary technique led her to explore other alternative modalities. Her personal journey, along with life lessons learned along the way, is detailed in her book, Believe and it is True: A Story of Healing and Life Lessons. Reach Deborah at http://www.deblloydhealing.com/, email@example.com and at Deb Lloyd Healing on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/deblloydhealing)