Article by Deborah Lloyd, Reiki Master
Many years ago, while working in a hospital, a nurse educator shared her feelings of frustration and hopelessness with me. The 19 year old adolescent with diabetes had simply ignored everything she taught him, and he ended up in the hospital close to death, with very high blood sugars. She made many statements about all the ways she had “failed” him – if only she had spent another few hours with him; if only she had used the right words to reach him; if only she had phoned every week, the list went on. She judged herself to be a failure. Gently, I reminded her of his responsibility to take care of himself, and his right to make choices in his life, even when these choices are poor ones. This is not placing judgment on the adolescent, but rather placing responsibility where it belongs. Finally, the educator agreed she did everything she could have done, and seeing herself as a failure started to diminish.
Many of us can relate to how this nurse felt, any time we judge ourselves as being a failure. Through our own growth journeys, we learn not to judge other people. However, we often have a more difficult time in learning not to judge ourselves! The old messages we may have heard in childhood – you’re being bad; you can do better than this; you are a problem child – can get replayed, over and over, in our minds. Others of us may not have heard those kinds of comments from others, but created them ourselves. These thoughts lead to unrealistic expectations and harsh conclusions about events in our lives. We make impossible promises to ourselves that no person could ever meet; then, we feel inadequate and less-than others, when they are not met. We become our own worse critics.
Reiki teaches us not to judge others – and ourselves. The more we use Reiki, and connect with the Universe, the more we come to accept the beautiful beings that all people are. We learn that everyone has a story, a history of experiences that may have been wounding to their spirit. We learn that every person needs healing, somewhere, and the wisdom of Reiki will bring that healing to them in a loving, wholistic way. And, each of us learns that I, too, have a story, and I deserve to feel whole again. I realize unconditional love is available to me.
Where there is unconditional love, there is no judgment. We understand we have made mistakes, learned from them, and continue to strive to live a life of love and acceptance. We embrace the fact that we are the receivers of unconditional love, just like all people are. Loving ourselves without judgment is necessary, if we expect to channel that kind of unconditional love to other people. To think the Universe would love every other person on earth – except me – is truly illogical thinking. And yet, some of us cling to that very thought.
Any time you make a critical comment to yourself, recognize it and ask Reiki to heal this kind of self-talk. If you continue to have the belief you are less worthy than other people, turn to Reiki to heal this false belief. Judging yourself negatively creates an imbalance within your being, affecting you emotionally, spiritually, and possibly physically. When you practice Reiki frequently, with the intention of your highest good, self-judgment will no longer exist. Reiki is a blessing in our lives!
Deborah Lloyd is a Usui and Karuna® Reiki Master and certified holistic therapy practitioner. She also is a licensed clinical social worker, working with a hospice agency in Asheville, NC. She grew up on a farm in rural Indiana and was stricken with polio at the age of three. To relieve fatigue from post-polio syndrome, she learned Reiki. This complementary technique led her to explore other alternative modalities. Her personal journey, along with life lessons learned along the way, is detailed in her book, Believe and it is True: A Story of Healing and Life Lessons. Reach Deborah at http://www.deblloydhealing.com/, firstname.lastname@example.org and at Deb Lloyd Healing on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/deblloydhealing)