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Help! Ego Alert!

Article by Taryn Walker

One of my biggest weaknesses is not asking for help. Last year was really the first time I was made aware of this life-long tendency, an important and challenging reflection given by my sweet (and brave) partner. It never occurs to me to ask for help, yet I love helping others. It’s what I do for a living! I am always grateful for and amazed by the trust given by my Reiki clients. It’s courageous to admit that you need help and it’s also very wise. I’m having a time of deep introspection on this and trying to recognise the pattern here. As I write I can feel my ego trying to convince me that I never need help and that’s why I don’t ask. You see my ego knows everything already and asking for help means that I might be thought of as incompetent or stupid. I’ve been laughing kindly at myself all day realising this ridiculousness.

When someone offers me help, I usually resist the advice in some very creative way to show that I’m capable of doing things for myself. This is really a huge realisation for me and I plan on staying aware of this pattern and totally evolving out of it. I waste a lot of time figuring out things that I could ask others to help me with and I know they’d be more than happy to help. I probably miss out on many good opportunities because of my resistance to help offered. Recently I’ve been wanting to write a kindle book so I went into the deep jungle of amazon dot com to read the requirements. After a flabbergasting hour or two it just seemed like too many nitty gritty considerations so I declared it impossible and that was that. My partner offered an amazing solution which would more than likely lead to a kindle book published on Amazon and I put up a huge wall of resistance because it means having to ask someone else for advice! It means that I couldn’t figure it out myself.

Help! Ego Alert!

Image by h.koppdelaney

I live on an island which attracts healers of all kinds and speaking to some of them recently brought to light that this issue I have with help is common in the healing profession. It is so natural for us to give but we often have trouble with receiving, whether it be a piece of advice or some healing of our own. Sure Reiki healers receive Reiki every time we act as a channel for it during the sessions we offer, but this is never the same as going for your own session and passively surrendering to the healing. I’m going to make sure that I nurture myself a lot more from now on. We all need healing at different times in our lives. We are constantly shifting and evolving and aren’t we blessed to have so many options when it comes to supporting our transformation. Massages, hot baths, ocean swims, nature walks, saunas, singing circles, friends and of course Reiki!

I see an interesting connection here between not feeling comfortable to ask for help and not nurturing myself as often as I could. The more insecure parts of my ego don’t believe that I deserve to be nurtured and asking for help feels like I’m placing a burden on someone else. These insecurities masquerade as the ‘I already know that’ arrogance as a way to hide from the light of consciousness. Awareness is the first step in transcending self-defeating habits. I see you insecurities and you cannot hide anymore! I am going to enjoy watching myself shift into a version of myself that loves asking for advice and sees it as a beautiful collaboration between people rather than a sign of defeat or a terrible burden.

I am grateful to my partner for holding up a mirror for my weaknesses. If you’re seeing yourself in ways that call for transformation, recognize the gift in this awareness. Allow yourself to be nurtured by others during these times. Don’t neglect your Reiki self-practice but recognize the blessing in being able to say “I can’t do this myself”.

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Taryn Walker

Taryn Walker

Taryn Walker is a traveling Reiki Master Teacher who wishes to inspire people to realise that they are miraculous! She believes that Reiki can reveal our natural ability to heal ourselves and this empowers us to take responsibility for our lives. She works a lot with distant Reiki and loves the way it allows people to experience the illusion of separation. Taryn is grateful for being able to connect with her Reiki clients even while traveling. She usually lives on a little island in Thailand, where she practices and teaches Reiki, but finds ‘home’ wherever she is. Taryn enjoys yoga, nature, creating art, cooking and finding magic in “ordinary” places. Follow her here: http://reiki-alchemy.com/, http://www.facebook.com/alchemyhealing, and http://bit.ly/reikialchemyoutube.

{ 4 comments… add one }
  • Marie Brown January 16, 2015, 3:08 pm

    I enjoyed your article on EGO. It is very interesting. One observation from you piece that may help with asking for help is this. By refusing help that is offered we may be preventing that person fulfilling that part of their journey.

    • Taryn January 16, 2015, 4:14 pm

      Thank you Maria. That’s an interesting way of looking at this. Since writing this article I feel a huge opening to receive help. I noticed that when I feel that the person offering help is not acting selflessly my resistance is much greater. There’s also a lot to be said for being detached as the one offering help and letting go of the expectation of acknowledgement or reward. We live in a world where selfless giving is rare. Being open to receive help for me is an act of the heart as much as it is for the giver. It can be a beautiful exchange and an important lesson of the heart chakra 🙂

  • Janna January 16, 2015, 4:01 pm

    Thank you:-)

    • Taryn January 16, 2015, 4:16 pm

      🙂 Thank you for connecting Janna

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