Article by Tammy Hatherill, Reiki Master
It saddens me that sometimes families don’t get along and I think it’s mostly is for a reason. I strongly believe that each person is born into a family to learn valuable life lessons. These lessons come in the form of conflict as well as love. Past life issues may also resurface in current lives. It’s an intricate web of deep meaning, when conflicts arise. Reiki can be so helpful in dealing with family drama.
Two of my radio clients recently, were discussing family issues and conflict. One was an adult woman whose mother drives her crazy. The mother doesn’t communicate with her daughter for months on end, and then when she does, expects her daughter to drop everything and be there for her. The other radio client was a mother, whose daughters won’t talk to her or have anything to do with her. Both ladies were in deep pain because of these family conflicts.
I myself, have issues with my family because no matter how often I try to describe my ‘experience’ within the family (from a sensitive person’s point of view) they become defensive and then attack with all the problems within our family are my fault, and its “Tammy with the issues.” For me it’s much easier not to deal with any of them and simply send Reiki, love and light.
Needless to say, someone in the family is always going to be hurt. For me it was growing up with hurt and rejection, and when I was old enough and brave enough to voice it, it didn’t go down well and it wasn’t received with acceptance. It was all in my head (apparently). This is a common occurrence in people who are stuck on the earthly plain and are not able to see past the 3rd dimension. They are unable to see past their own unfamiliarity and one can only feel sorry and hope they awaken soon.
I imagine also that the ladies, who called in to the radio station, would face denial from their family member, if they spoke of the pain they were experiencing. The mother who doesn’t speak to her daughter for months at time would probably be shocked that her actions hurt her daughter. She probably can’t see an issue with her behaviour! The children who won’t forgive their mother, for not being perfect years ago, may also be shocked that their inability to forgive is very painful and hurtful. Every single person has lessons here. Everyone!
What are the lessons? This would vary from family to family to family. My lesson is that just because I am a sensitive and loving soul, and wasn’t much loved by my sister growing up or my father; I am still an amazing person. They can’t see ‘how’ they hurt me, because they believe they did love me. The treatment I received and my perception and memory is very different and very real. Their lesson is to one day recognise or acknowledge my pain, and put their hand up to having contributed to the pain.
Another lesson for me is to acknowledge that sometimes people simply cannot see the pain they inflict on others, and simply will never acknowledge it because in their heads they are ‘right’ and I am ‘wrong’. It’s not about right and wrong for me. All I want is a simply acknowledgment and not the constant criticism that because I’m sensitive, I’ve imagined it all and I’m the black sheep of the family for causing issues. I now accept I’ll never get this need met, because they can’t see it for what it is. That’s a lesson. I’ve learned to accept that my point of view will never be seen or validated. I’m now ok with it.
Have a look within your own families and try to rise above the circumstances to see it from a higher perspective. Look down upon the family and see what the bigger picture is? Perhaps the mother, who had made some bad choices and decisions, from the radio, might need to learn that people take time in forgiving. Her children might need to learn that people can change and become better? Maybe there needs to be give and take on both sides? There are many reasons for conflict within a family and I do believe it stems from learning lessons and even past life karma and events.
For my own circumstance, I have used Reiki to help overcome my pain. I send Reiki out every single day to the family. I send love and light, to them and to myself, my husband and our puppies. There is nothing more powerful than love. Yes it’s essential for me not to communicate with them because of the frustrations they cause me, but I can and do send out love, love, love. When I have no choice but to communicate, I also do self-reiki before and after, to cope with the emotions that surface.
I’ve also sent Reiki back to the past to help smooth over issues and concerns from the moment of my birth. I’ve even sent Reiki further back to deal with any unresolved past life concerns. There is nothing that Reiki can’t assist with, in my humble opinion. I’ve even asked one of the Reiki Masters who has completed her courses with me, to perform a cord cutting exercise for me. I have asked her to cut the cords I have to my mother, father and sister. This doesn’t mean I don’t love them, it just means the energy they suck from me, will be stopped, and I can get on with life in a much easier and healthy manner.
This cord cutting session is yet to be done, however I look forward to it.
So from this article, I hope you understand that just because we practice Reiki and are practitioners and masters, it does not make us immune from unpleasant things, especially family connections. What Reiki enables us to do is deal with the situations in a more productive manner.
With love, light and harmony.
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Tammy Hatherill is the owner/operator of Tammy’s Tarot and Healing. She is a well known Tarot and and Reiki Master/Teacher, and shared her love of tarot for over 12 months with a regular radio segment on 104.1 Territory FM. Tammy is the author of two books: Trapped Behind Bars and The Diary of a Fallen Angel, and is a journalist for numerous organisation: Reiki Rays, Tiny Buddha, Personal Growth and Hypnotherapy Journal Australia. You can find her website at www.tammystarotandhealing.com
and facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tammystarotandhealing/